2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
1. The ability to love
The ability to get involved in relationships, to open up to another person. To love him for who he is: with all the advantages and disadvantages. Without idealization and depreciation. It is the ability to give, not take.
2. Ability to work
This applies not only to the profession. This is primarily about the ability to create and create. It is important for people to realize that what they are doing has meaning and significance for Others. This is the ability to bring something new to the world, creativity.
3. Ability to play
Here we are talking both about the direct meaning of "play" in children, and about the ability of adults to "play" with words and symbols. This is an opportunity to use metaphors, allegories, humor, symbolize your experience and enjoy it.
4. Safe relationship
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for people who go to psychotherapy to be in violent, threatening, addictive - in a word, unhealthy relationships.
5. Autonomy
People who go to psychotherapy often have a lack of it (but great potential, since they did come to therapy). People are not doing what they really want to do. They do not even have time to "choose" (listen to themselves) what they want.
6. Self and object constancy or the concept of integration
This is the ability to stay in contact with all sides of your own I: both good and bad, both pleasant and not causing stormy joy. It is also the ability to feel conflicts without splitting. This is the contact between the child I was, who I am now, and the person I will be in 10 years. This is the ability to take into account and integrate everything that is given by nature and what I have managed to develop in myself. One of the violations of this point can be an "attack" on one's own body, when it is unconsciously not perceived as a part of oneself. It becomes something separate that can be made to starve or cut, etc.
7. Ability to recover from stress (ego strength)
If a person has enough ego strength, then when he is faced with stress, he does not get sick, does not use only one inflexible defense to get out of him, does not break down. He is able to adapt in the best way to a new situation.
8. Realistic and reliable self-assessment
9. The system of value orientations
It is important that a person understands ethical norms, their meaning, while being flexible in following them.
10. Ability to withstand the heat of emotions
To endure emotions means to be able to stay with them, to feel them, while not acting under their influence. It is also the simultaneous ability to stay in touch with both emotions and thoughts - your rational part.
11. Reflection
The ability to look at yourself as if from the outside. Reflective people are able to see what exactly is their problem, and accordingly, deal with it in such a way as to solve it, helping themselves as effectively as possible.
12. Mentalization
With this ability, people are able to understand that Others are completely separate individuals, with their own characteristics, personal and psychological structure. Such people also see the difference between feeling offended by someone else's words and the fact that the other person did not really want to offend them.
13. Wide variety of defense mechanisms and flexibility in their us
14. Balance between what I do for myself and for my environment
This is about the opportunity to be yourself and take care of your own interests, while taking into account the interests of the partner with whom you have a relationship.
15. A sense of vitality
The ability to be and feel alive.
16. Acceptance of what we cannot change
This is about the ability to sincerely and honestly be sad, to experience grief in connection with the fact that it is impossible to change. Accepting our limitations and lamenting what we would like to have, but we do not have it.
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