2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
If you can't argue with Ayurveda - it's a good thing, plus the philosophy of healthy eating hasn't hurt anyone yet - then you can really wrestle with the concept of Relationships according to the Vedas.
Should a woman be socially successful or return to borscht and diapers? - the question is not only difficult, but also sore in our country.
So, let's start, as always, point by point:
# 1 Why the Vedas can be trusted
In principle, reading this "table of ranks", who should do what in the family and in life, it is difficult to disagree with simple (like humming) common sense, intelligibly packaged in expressions such as: "A man needs to think about high things, to comprehend the meaning of being, to pass it on to his youths”(I'm kidding). “His spouse must be a good wife, psychologically so flexible, so that in the delights of love to be more beautiful for him than all other women, and in spiritual help, be like a mother, and in tight sadness like a sister (and know exactly how to switch these role) ".
Standing applause!
Naturally, one cannot argue with such a sophisticated dreamlike reality. Everyone wants to live in a fairy tale, anyhow the spirit flourished, and the heart was constantly singing the note of FA with happiness, glorifying Brahman and the entire Universe sticking out of the navel of Krishna the golden-tongued (there may be inaccuracies).
But on the whole, the essence is conveyed correctly. From a pure heart and no false ego, I swear !!!
If the wife is good and the husband is good, then everything will be fine. Amen.
I agree, both as a person and as a psychologist.
When everyone is happy, I will go to the masseurs, I promise.
But until people are stamped out of sacred clay, psychologists will have to work hard, sorting out private details.
So what's the catch?
The funny thing is that the idea of dividing the roles of a Man is a breadwinner, protector and spiritual thinker, and his wife - a lover, mother and cook - works. And there are a lot of families where this model normally behaves like this, and does not suffer. But their percentage is hardly that high (probably no more than 5%).
The rest have to somehow combine the sinful with the righteous, earn money together, replace a friend for a friend at the dishwashing, etc. It is clear that the idea of the Vedas is not reduced to a banal division of roles, the idea is a little deeper (but not much) - everyone should invest in their own layer of work (if you want to call this layer - the Invocation, if it's easier and kosher for you).
So the first conclusion - follow the thought - A woman must be a woman.
And the man - you guessed it! - a man! Exactly.
If confused, there will be trouble (as the Vedas say)
If not to be confused - a kick-ass and a total good, all at once.
But for some reason, for the 6000 years declared in the Vedas, such happiness has never become possible (as the gurus did not try). But you just had to live, preserving the proposed order of things (given either by the Gods with a flower in the navel, or by advanced aliens sprinkling in Sanskrit - it's not exactly clear). And why don't people want to live in order?..
I have an answer, cool, verified.
Because it was necessary to start spreading the Vedas not with the Hindus, but with the Germans. They can do anything if they have a good leader plus careful instructions. (Or nakraynyak - the Japanese, but their horseradish can be convinced with their katanas).
In general, it is a good idea how to be a real woman, how to be a man. Pavel Rakov has already sold this topic to the people: Walk in skirts, do not step on a peasant's balls with your authoritarianism, alpha males do not like this, and so on.
About men I especially like the phrase: “A man should be able to make money, this is his payment for a member.” Strongly said, right? Immediately you begin to appreciate yourself and … other parts of the body, even your posture improves.
Hochma is that our Ukrainian women are characterized by a certain authoritarianism. Its nature can be disassembled for a long time and thoughtfully, or it can be quickly and conditionally:
§ In the scoop, the woman was made a steel-maker and put in control of the peasant;
§ after the war there were few men, many disabled and drinkers, so the woman of the 70s “ruled” both at work and in the family (the image of Pashka as a tractor driver and communist);
§ thirdly, the mentality: Russian - strong, Ukrainian - Cossack;
§ the party needed a gross product and future soldiers, so the woman acquired more masculine qualities. In the West, there was another topic (almost Vedic): a woman in a dress waits for her husband at home, and he, the breadwinner, comes home from work. But for some reason this model did not gain massive success, despite all the Vedic correctness.
№2 Why the Vedas cannot be trusted
There is a hidden male chauvinistic approach.
Like, a man should be good, wise and kind. But! The wife should do both, and damn the third. If he is in a sad mood, then fourth and fifth.
Some kind of shadow theater … Rzhu-I can not.
Should a man change roles, adjusting to his wife and her mood, or do we have a one-sided model of spousal support?..
And phrases like “when a woman becomes good in marriage, then a man will become better as a husband” evokes special affection. Why is that? Why doesn't it sit on your neck, as it happens in the overwhelming majority of cases, which we, psychologists, have been analyzing for years?
Giving abstruse advice is always easier than driving one client for a long time. And that's why - there is NO universal philosophy for individuality. Perhaps in the army and in the monastery, where there is nothing more individual than trousers and a toothbrush.
Therefore, any priest or guru is ridiculous, who is the third to climb between husband and wife, offering them a "correct" marriage, a marriage according to the rules. Which worked thousands of years ago for some "right" / clean people for whom even archaeologists cannot find skulls, with pockets for extra brains.
I repeat, believing in fairy tales is amazingly interesting when you are five years old. Then you have to screw your own brains, because in life the causes of marriage problems are 20 times more subtle and deeper. The problem of childhood trauma, disrespect, competition with parents, social dis-adaptation, healthy youth denial of everyone and everything.
About which one guru wrote: "if the relationship in the family is correct, then there will be no teenage isolation." It will be, such is the stage of the formation of the psyche, you cannot cajole it and you cannot slip it through.
Although in general, the Vedas say correctly - be kinder, more patient, more responsible, this is for the benefit of the marriage. For good.
Only our people are trying to treat much more serious issues with such advice as a plaster, which cannot be cured by observing their roles.
The wife of a drinking businessman comes to the guru, and he tells her - since the husband drinks, it means that this is your fault: you were not a good wife, did not support your husband, did not give him good energy.
His wife: - how did you not support? Yes, I didn’t feed him from my breast!
Guru: - What about the role of a mistress? Forgot about passion-ardor? So he lost the light of life, strayed from the search for a worthy goal. I would carry the attack on my hands now.
The woman is shocked, leaves to adjust to the drunkard. Rave.
And a good psychologist would answer her instead: - You are in a dependent relationship. Let's figure out how you met him? What family is he from, how is his responsibility? What role did he include you in? (mommies). How did you get involved in it, why? Who were you in your family? Now let's gradually change this, restoring your and his boundaries of responsibility.
Feature of many and especially Eastern religions - in their original pro-masculine position. Now it is obvious that a woman is in no way worse than a man. But for some reason, it is she who should help, and instruct, and guess, and change roles, and preserve virginity, and not be too authoritarian, and get to know oneself.
Once again - Brad.
If she was prepared for marriage, like an Indian princess, from childhood, then she will cope with this honorable role of a super-woman. And if she herself needed to achieve something in life so as not to be a stupid mother-in-law that any mother-in-law would smear on the wall for lack of social achievements (given our increased female competition), then it is difficult to become a geisha.
Although again - the idea is correct!
When a woman takes over all the reins of managing the family and finances, and communicating with relatives, and raising children, the husband is left to drink quietly in front of the TV. And this happens, gentlemen of the Vedists, not because of the mysterious energies of the 7-8-24 chakras, but because of the feeling of being lost / unnecessary.
And then a woman's shoulders grow, and from neurosis, anxiety and not expressed emotions, a belly and immeasurable breeches grow. Plus hatred for her husband, they say, he is not a man. Yes, no longer, they really took the male role from him.
Therefore, the Vedas are right - the regulations are important.
And therefore, the Vedas alone are not enough for our Slavic area: our women considered the child their property and implicitly pushed the man away from his upbringing: "Skew-handed, everything is always wrong with you!"
The nature of a woman's respect for a man and a man's respect for a woman is extremely important, and it comes from the family. And how to teach this to the masses is not yet clear.
In Christianity, this is even cooler, once I heard the line of the prayer: "May the wife of her husband be afraid as the church fears God" - and forever engraved in my memory. Scripture is not as cute as you might think, there are phrases in the Old Testament like: "If a wife hit her husband in the crotch, she should be stoned," etc.
Maybe that's why the young people are drawn to the Hare Krishnas, because there is a description of everything in the world without raids and obvious intimidation, and you can talk about relationships. Educational program for the poor.
After all, Relationships are Respect, Love and Responsibility
The more a person respects himself, the boundaries and needs of other people, the more emotional health he has in order to Love, the more conscious and responsible he is, the more healthy Relationships he builds.
No. 3. I learned, understood, and went on
You don't have to believe in Krishna to benefit from Vedic advice. Some of my acquaintances at one time were also interested in the Vedas, they adopted something and went on.
The main benefit for our women is not to go too far with authoritarianism, not to crush the man in the family, repeating the mistakes of mothers-aunts-grandmothers. Otherwise, bull! - and the man drowned in vodka.
And it is important for men to note that learning to be a Man is still important, so you need to take out your mother's boobs from your mouth and become independent. Otherwise, the chosen one will have nothing to respect her fiancé.
No. 4. Cross-cultural features. "They have it there, in Turkey, it is warm …"
The Vedas, with all their religious naivete, give everyone the same advice. But there are also national differences. For example, Ukrainians, unlike Poles, are more masculine and feminine in principle. Our children, having our genes, are brought up in other countries from the cradle, but they still run and scream more.
Therefore, our women will always be stronger and will want to command the family, and men, if they do not command, then know how to smooth out disputes with an angry wife with a joke.
Returning to the question of a woman's vocation, I will quote a certain Vedic ideologist - Torsunov, who in his lecture "The Purpose of Man, Part 1", confidently stated: "… If a woman has realized herself in the family, she does not have a question as to whom it is better to work. In this case, she becomes a realized person, try to understand that."
Here, my friend, not everything is so simple
It would be so simple, everyone would already live, not grieve, and put the meaning in proverbs like: "A man - harness, and a woman - for a loaf." But there is no such thing.
But there is a classic bespectacled prankster-ideologist. He read, znachitsa, books and let the people sneeze how to live. And do you take responsibility, good gentleman, for every Mashenka-Dasha-Glashenka, whom this will not help, because she grew up in a dependent model and needs to improve her character and study at the university, and not stand by the pan?
And the Vedas say that you cannot eat meat, but it is better to drink milk from a sacred cow. And what do you order the Eskimos-Chukchi-Scandinavians to do? They will bend in the north without meat, however, well, seals do not give milk, period.
To which the Vedas, with the genius of a 5-year-old child, answer: And people need to live where it is warm (like we do in India).
Kindergarten, not otherwise. Solve global issues based on the scriptures of my grandfather.
The whole point of evolution in finding more recent solutions and moving on, replenishing the piggy bank of solutions, and here we are so cool: and all the answers are already there! We have the original knowledge of the universe! Everything and everything!
So what did the erudites think of: do you have socionics in the Vedas? What about Coaching? And what about the stages of childhood trauma according to Freud-Erickson? No, well, thank God, at least you don't have something. Like, God did not know about Coaching when he created the Universe, this was before Rogers, Rolo May and Maslow developed humanistic psychology.
Well, thanks for that.
No. 5. Equality is not evil
The focus of our non-trivial modernity is that both a woman and a man now go through the same barriers to formation:
§ find your specialty, like a road in life;
§ realize parental mistakes and not repeat them;
§ overcome their complexes;
§ create a happy relationship.
Consulting that men, that women are not particularly noticeable
It is a MYTH that men and women are DIFFERENT. They differ in little things, no more than 7-8 percent, all other mental, emotional and volitional mechanisms are the same !!!
Social behavior is DIFFERENT, women can giggle or cry stupidly, but men cannot. Men can urinate in corners, but women cannot. I agree that the difference is GREAT! Truly, men are from Mars (wherever they urinate), and women are from Venus (there everyone giggles incessantly).
Uncertainty in communication in both sexes manifests itself in the same way, as well as fear of partners, and stiffness, and resentment, and anger, and confusion, and the search for a goal, and difficulty in expressing emotions.
People, believe me! There is NO much difference in thinking between men and women! There are simply softer men and more strong-willed, softer women and more strong-willed, and it seems like they are two different camps. NO-FI-HA like that! We perceive ourselves, the world and life the same, only we express it through different social conventions, that's all.
That female ambition and complexes, that male - they are the same.
That male fears of intimacy, that female - they are the same.
Therefore, against this background, it is especially funny when stories begin about how important it is to preserve virginity. Moreover, who is more concerned with this task? Women! Just fall under the table from this naivety - "Just some kind of medieval savagery, listen, right?" ("Prisoner of the Caucasus", quote).
Laughing out loud.
What is virginity in fig?
Any normal psychologist will now say - live at least six months in a civil marriage, take out the trash together, and then get married. And even modern parents understand this perfectly well, no one wants to nurse their grandchildren after a quick marriage and divorce.
Relationships also have a LEARNING factor!You can't, without meeting anyone, bang! - and become a happy-skillful-wife. This is nonsense. Yes, going too far with sex for the sake of sex or being drunk is idiocy, smelling of an addicted person who is the only way to contact the world. But you can't intimidate her with karma, for sure, for the first 10 years, she will only have to fuck. Until he finally matures.
Sorry, the society has become more complicated, it is even more difficult to find oneself, therefore, the difficulties in the formation of an individual have grown. Tea is not the 18th century, when by the age of 20 there were three children in their arms. By the way, the ideal time was to teach the Vedas … female self-realization in society and did not smell.
And then, damn it, the woman did not have time to win her rights, throw off the extra burden of family debt, put on jeans and focus on her goals, as PERSONALITIES, as Vedists appear and begin to sing sweetly: you don’t wear jeans, the energy diminishes through the flares be, you wear a skirt, but more authentic, we like female mystery … like in India … don't shout at your husband, you love him, in every way, we men love it, and keep your virginity, it's easy to check it the tachometer is not installed on the penis).
Nonsense, stupid male chauvinism.
And there are only male preachers around, and the meta-message: "Please us, and we will learn the meaning of the Universe." Kick-ass. The limit of imagination.
Yes, if a woman cannot stand up for her rights (not aggressively, but effectively - in a quiet word, but with great confidence), then even a mega-enlightened man will not respect her!
Nobody respects weaklings. What's the point?..
It's like a phrase: the people are worthy of their rulers. Would be wiser - would choose normal, and cut off the abnormal head.
So a woman can be measured by the man next to her:notorious - next to a villain, downtrodden - a bum, stupid - a fool nearby, smart - intelligent, confident - interesting and bright, creative and skillful - talented and caring, wise - cool, etc. Logic cannot be avoided, and karma has nothing to do with it.
So I wonder what religion would be like if it was entirely invented by women?
In Karen Horney's experience with female psychology, the result will be very different.
My advice is this: Don't believe in fairy tales. Take what you like and move on - with all responsibility, work on yourself and on your happiness.
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