2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The head became heavy, thoughts hung in gray cotton wool, a lump rolled up to my throat, tears froze in my eyes. There is no strength, neither to speak, nor to cry. To ask for help, to call someone, all the more there is no strength.
Here it is - "bad at all."
- What do you want now?
- I do not want anything. I want everyone to leave me alone. And it's better that I, in general, never exist. To avoid this starting point of the report …
- It's global. What do you want very small for yourself now?
- ….. so that there is no noise around, … so that everything is quiet, and I am left all alone …
- What can you do for yourself now?
Searching for an answer to the question "What can I do for myself now?" launches a program to recover from depression, despair and exhaustion.
I am not anyone else. Mobilizing your own forces, searching for a resource.
I can - I can definitely. Search for a solution and selection of action according to forces.
To do is not just to think about it, but to do it. Movement towards concrete actions
changes in the situation.
Now - at this moment, not sometime in the future, but now. Decision making and immediate action.
This action is usually quite small, it takes a person out from under the hood, starts the self-rescue mechanism.
What is the smallest thing I want for myself and what can I do for myself right now?
-I want not to see these walls, so that no one gets me.
I can get out of here immediately by turning off the phone.
-I want it to be quiet, and I was alone.
I can ask everyone, having gathered the remaining strength, to leave here and leave me for two hours alone.
As soon as there is an action that responds to an urgent need - that's it, the mechanism is launched.
At this stage of the exit, you should not try to analyze the situation. This is a waste of resources. Now you do not have the opportunity to objectively and adequately perceive what is coming.
As long as you are inside the problem, you will not be able to look at it from the outside.
Try to turn off your head. Throw out any thoughts that come, and try to remain in complete emptiness.
To master the technique of "thinking nothing", the ability to stop the course of one's own thoughts, is not easy, but possible.
It will allow you to take a break from the exhausting "crisis solutions" and the search for the culprit.
Be in this state and at this stage, as long as you need to, to recuperate and start breathing.
The first opportunity to analyze will come the next day. Even then, don't try to make far-reaching decisions.
You will be able to understand what really happened and how to do it differently the next time, no earlier than in a few days, and the more time passes, the more objective your view will be. "Great is seen at a distance."
Therefore, one should not make violent decisions “under the hood”: “That's it! I'm getting divorced! or write a letter of resignation. Perhaps it is worth hanging out and you have grown out of this work for a long time, but you can do this only with a fresh mind. And it is better to leave not “from”, but “to”.
When you jump with a parachute, the main thing is not to forget to pull the ring in time.
Remember and perhaps someday it will save your life
"What can I do for myself now?"
Recommended:
COMFORT ZONE - TO EXIT OR NOT TO EXIT?
“Get out of your comfort zone! Development is possible only outside the comfort zone! 3 reasons why you need to step out of your comfort zone! How to get out of your comfort zone? 10 ways to get out of your comfort zone!” -This is a short list of article titles if you ask Google about your comfort zone.
BAD PSYCHOTHERAPIST OR BAD ADVICE ABOUT BAD PSYCHOTHERAPIST
A popular topic today is warning clients in need of psychotherapeutic services about unprofessional, “bad”, exploitative therapists. I think it is necessary to cover such topics. But the lighting is careful, competent and thoughtful. I came across an article that aims to show clients which therapists to run away from.
I Cannot Live Without What Destroys Me. Dependent Behavior: Exit Point
No human being can be called a completely independent being. We are Tamagotchi. Dependent on air, water, food, we all need our own territory, relationships with other people, we all need to belong to society. When we talk about addictive behavior, we mean a certain bias towards a strong dependence on something that stops feeding our life, but begins to destroy it.
Bad, Bad Mother
Why parents feel guilty and anxious all the time Parents constantly hear double messages from society. On the one hand, you must be loving, patient, and kind. On the other hand, your child should not bother anyone and live up to expectations (as if you were holding him tightly).
Why Do Good Girls Fall In Love With Bad Boys And Good Boys Fall In Love With Bad Girls?
Cases when good people fall in love with "bad" people are not uncommon. Why is this happening? The explanation can be found in the theory of Ronald Fairbairn (a famous British psychoanalyst, one of the founders of object relations theory).