Fear Of Life

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

What is fear of life? This is the fear of death.

What is the fear of death? This is the fear of life.

We can say that these are the same or two sides of the same coin.

The fear of life consists of many different fears and phobias. Each person expresses it differently, and the degree of his strength is different for everyone. In the most extreme degree, a person who is afraid of life is so deeply immersed in his experiences that he prefers not to get up from the couch at all, and is in a state of deep depression. Depression, in most cases, is a consequence of the fear of life.

If a person has a fear of life, then each day is similar to the previous one, like groundhog day. (By the way, watch this film, which is very revealing). Those. his life is very predictable, definite and boring. There are practically no events happening in it. Any novelty, whether it be acquaintances, offers, interesting events, are not perceived by such a person at all. This raises a level of anxiety in him that he cannot cope with, so he chooses only the familiar and safe.

There is a secondary benefit to this choice. It seems to a person that in this way he takes control of his life. He understands perfectly well that because of this, nothing wonderful and surprising happens in his life, however, nothing terrible either. Of course, a person understands that some kind of catastrophe may occur, but he minimizes their probability. For example, if I don't leave the house once again, then the likelihood of being hit by a car is less. If I don't get to know a girl, then I won't marry her. We will not quarrel with her, and I will never divorce, and I will not be hurt. Strategically, he is satisfied with such orderliness, clarity and predictability.

The worst thing for a person who has a fear of life is that he cannot control some fateful events. His loved ones may die, he may fall ill with a terrible incurable disease, he may become disabled due to a car accident, suddenly there will be a terrorist attack, fire, flood, prison … Ie. something can happen in his life that he has no influence on, and this causes him to panic. He really is not able to resist this, but in his power to minimize the likelihood of such troubles - not to go anywhere, not to go, not to meet, not to create anything …

Distinctive features of people with fear of life:

- Anhedonia Is a lack of joy. It looks like a tranquilizer. A person is not happy, but not sad either. He can't. This kind of gives him a guarantee that he is ready for anything. And in this state, he can even go somewhere to rest. True, he will not get much pleasure from this, but he will not be afraid.

- Pessimism Is an attempt to see everything in gray tones. The thinking of a pessimistic person is aimed at finding disadvantages, he, as a rule, does not notice the advantages. Thus, he kind of guarantees himself that it won't get any worse.

For example, a person with a fear of life, having gone to India, will definitely pay attention to the fact that there are many hungry children, heaps of garbage, and unsanitary conditions. He will not notice the beautiful warm ocean, delicious fruits and picturesque landscapes.

Also, a person with a fear of life loves watching the news, following the media, concentrating on negative events that occur in the world, keeping them in memory and retelling them to others. Thus, he gets a vaccine, as it were, and prepares himself to experience something very terrible.

- Catastrophization Is an exaggeration of current events. For example, a man was fined for speeding. This can happen to anyone, there is nothing like that. But for a person with a fear of life, this will raise a wave of anxiety, and he will regard it as something creepy. Logically, he understands that nothing serious has happened. But at the same time, it reminds him that he has no power over this world, and anything can happen. He is not able to control everything. What happened to which he did not give his consent.

- Fear not to correspond to anything, and to be negatively evaluated. - Well, where am I going to study? I am already old, ugly, and my speech is simple. Well, where am I going to go? They won't hire me anyway.

Causes:

- Hyper-care. The fear of life is laid in childhood, when the mother took care of her child and intimidated him by telling scary stories that happened to other children. For example, “Here is Petka from apartment 34, climbed a tree, and broke his leg, now he is in the hospital. They give him injections, don't go anywhere. " “But Mashenka was stolen from the next house by a stranger. Something happened to her that was just awful … I won't tell you what, but don't go anywhere with anyone! " The eternally fearful and controlling mother, who strives to spread straws everywhere, instills in the child the belief that the world is scary and aggressive towards children.

- Indifference from parents to your child can also cause fear of life. The kid, learning the world, constantly ran into trouble and realized that there was no barrier that could protect him, and this causes him increased anxiety. Such a child learned from his own experience what it is like to stick his fingers into a socket, go to an old borscht, etc. This gave him the conviction that anything can happen, and no one will help him.

- Genetic factor. For example, the child had a cowardly grandfather, dad.

- Social environment. In what conditions did the child grow up? What was the kindergarten, school, what events took place in the country?

- Psychotrauma. The younger the child who suffered psychological trauma was, the more influence it will have on his behavior and destiny in general. For example, if the child witnessed a parental fight in which he participated, a knife, threats of suicide, etc. Either the child fell out of the 1st floor, or turned over a pot of hot soup over himself. The untreated trauma will become the root from which all kinds of fears and phobias will grow. They will limit his happiness and creativity. He will constantly expect something scary to happen. After all, this has already happened in his life, and can happen again, so he subconsciously prepares for this

In order to stop being afraid of life and start meeting people, go to study, develop your career, travel and finally breathe deeply, allow yourself joy and pleasure, you need to accept your mortality. A very deep and difficult step is to accept your finitude, your last day, your last breath, to accept that in fact a person cannot foresee everything, and something that he cannot foresee can really happen. It is very difficult for those who strive to control everything, but working with a careful and gentle therapist will help to do this.

And when a person accepts that he can die - this gives him the opportunity to live life to the fullest - he can jump with a parachute, ride a roller coaster, walk up to a beautiful girl. Those. to do what he had not dared to do before.

It is the idea of death and the finiteness of life that opens up the possibility for a person to act, create, achieve.

Steve Jobs said: “If this day were the last in your life, would you like to do what you are doing? If not, throw it to hell and tackle what really inspires you. No wonder Jobs is called the genius of our time.

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Natalia Ostretsova - psychologist, psychotherapist.

If the topic of fear of life responded to you, and you want to receive a free 30-minute consultation on Skype, write to me, and I will tell you on what conditions it is possible.