2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
They say that the transitional age is terrible and difficult. And parents of teenagers often talk about it. Why? Because in many cases it is more difficult for parents than for children. Why? Perhaps because
The transitional age of the child tells his parents:
Everything! It's time to say goodbye with the illusion that you know something better than him!
Everything! It's time to LIMIT your influence on the fate of the child, wishing to spread it softer.
Everything! It's time to UNDERSTAND that your POWER, your INFLUENCE on the child has a BORDER.
UNDERSTAND THAT IF YOU HAVE CROSSED THIS BORDER, BROUGHT, it is your child who will never be able to re-live this period - the period of transitional age - from scratch.
The period when childhood, full of obedience and obedience to parents, ends, and adulthood comes into its own.
It is your child who will rewrite and rewrite this sheet of his life, trying to jump out of the circle of dependence on your opinion, money, absorbing his love and care "for his own good."
Will try to escape from the strong clutches of parental love into adulthood.
Everything! It's time to admit that this is a transitional period not only for your child, but also for yours.
The transition from the POSITION OF THE PARENT OF THE CHILD to the POSITION OF THE PARENT OF THE ADULT.
Will you be able to establish this boundary yourself?
Will you be able to live the child's dissenting opinion without violence against him?
Can you feel your own powerlessness when the child disagrees and not accuse him of disagreement, of stupidity?
Will you be able to admit that besides you, your child may have another life, different from your views, and will your love remain after this confession?
Yes, being a parent of an independent adult is much more difficult than being a parent of a dependent child, for many it is simply impossible.
Therefore, they continue to encourage and support the infantile life of their children to please themselves. They continue to suppress the adolescent's timid attempts to form his own opinion with an authoritarian style of communication. They continue to cultivate material dependence in children.
Only because they cannot feel their own border.
The border beyond which another adult life is already growing up.
And what path do you choose for yourself, mom or dad of a teenager?"
What to add? Yes, in fact there is nothing. Take your pick.
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