Taming Fear. Reboot

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

And what is new to say here? - you ask. The topic did not work unless the lazy one. All the same, I will risk it. Moreover, in the world, it turns out, only 2-3 percent of people have conquered their fears. It is possible that once again putting in a word about him will be useful to someone.

It will be about fear, which, having arisen once, does not leave us even when there is no reason for this. There was a situation when our life was in real danger. Everything ended well, but the fear remained.

For example, you were walking along the railway, lost in thought and did not notice how the train passed nearby at arm's length. You were very frightened, and now similar symptoms of fear appear whenever you find yourself near trains. Or avoid taking the elevator because one day it got stuck and you experienced fifteen minutes of wild horror. And once you were scared by an exhibitionist, and now you go around that place by the tenth way, because there you again plunge into a terrible nightmare.

And it doesn't matter that the station is completely empty, the elevator works flawlessly, and the shameful man was driven away long ago. Fear won't let go. He holds you by the throat, crawls into your body with a shiver, runs shivers down your back, wraps your fingers in cold weather, squeezes your heart with an iron grip, completely deprives you of common sense.

Arguments do not work, persuasion does not help, and when you start to shame yourself and remind yourself that you have long been an adult girl or a courageous boy, it gets even worse.

Living with a feeling of addiction to fear is like carrying a bag of shit and not being able to get rid of it. Disgusting, disgusting, and you always remember: even if you can't see him, he is.

I really love to swim. It so happens that everywhere I live near rivers and other different bodies of water. Once upon a time, twenty-five years ago, I went to the Dnieper every morning. Once she swam very quickly and, almost reaching the middle of the river, suddenly felt a terrible heartbeat. With the last of my strength, returning back and collapsing on the sand, I walked away, caught my breath, my heart calmed down and I decided to plunge one more time.

What do you think? As soon as I stopped feeling the bottom, my heart started pounding again. Okay, I thought, that's enough for today. But the result was the same tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the third day …

I still wanted to swim, and I began to think of how I could stop my tachycardia. I learned to swim in the depths of children along the coast. Then I tried to swim into the distance with my eyes closed - it helped, my heart beat evenly and calmly. So I swam all June.

When I went to the river, I felt somehow inferior, broken … Sometimes I was ashamed of this new deprivation of mine. Swimming with my eyes closed, I could deceive my brain, but I myself knew that the inferiority does not disappear anywhere. I was disgusted and sad that one of my favorite activities, swimming, flutters so ingloriously in the waters of the Dnieper.

One day I got angry and went on the attack. I must say that up to this moment I read many useful books about my hysteria and a sense of fear, listened to smart people, got acquainted with the techniques for correcting such glitches.

I learned a lot of interesting things

1. It turns out that fear does not have to be fought - it is stronger than us. We will not defeat him by denying or setting ourselves up with different beliefs such as the mantra "I am not afraid of anything."

2. In the struggle between shame and fear, fear always wins: shame is a weaker emotion in comparison with fear. Therefore, "ay-ay-ay, you're an adult" is also not good.

3. When we start to think constructively, get rid of prejudices and everything bad, fear leaves us.

4. When we avoid what we are afraid of, the feeling of fear is reinforced.

5. You don't need to run away from fear - you need to immerse yourself in it. He does not need to resist, but to look boldly in the eyes, figure out where his legs grow from - and let go.

6. I also liked one of the definitions of fear. At its core, fear denotes the threat of loss, and you can only lose what you have. I was afraid of losing my life - therefore, the fear of death approached the more the further from the coast I went.

And so I float. I am swimming to the depth. I swim and watch. In all of his both wide-open eyes. Yes, I'm scared. Yes, I'm afraid that now my heart will jump out. But I'm floating. It is important to know what is going on in my head, what I think about.

Therefore, I give a transcript. - Am I scared? Yes, it's scary. What am I afraid of? I'm afraid my heart is going to start beating now. And what will happen? It will be difficult for me to breathe, I can become exhausted, lose consciousness. So what of this? I can drown. Although - there are a lot of people here, I can shout, they will hear and save me … And if they do not have time? And if they don't get there? They can pull me out and bring me to my senses. And if they can't? Well, that means I'm going to die. I’m going to die anyway …

In such a dialogue with myself, I swam far enough, turned around and swam to the shore. The heart remained calm! I was happy like a child.

For the purity of the experiment, I swam several times, repeating the same dialogue. Maybe modifying it a bit. The result did not change - I was cured!

For some more time, plunging into the deep waters of the river, I plunge into my own fear. Each time it becomes less and less, and one day I swim, enjoying the process itself, completely not fixating on how my heart beats.

What happened?

1. I accepted fear as part of my personality and completely immersed myself in it.

2. I stopped resisting, stopped fantasizing that I was stronger and more cunning than him, opened my eyes both literally and figuratively, trusted life and began to act.

3. Dialogue with oneself is the movement of fear from the area of feelings into the mental sphere. And from there he very quickly goes into space. Joke. It just leaves. Perhaps this stage turned out to be the most powerful and effective.

My case is not the only one. Thus, one young man ceased to be afraid of large spaces, a girl successfully rides an elevator, someone speaks confidently at meetings and party meetings, and someone again felt joy at the wheel of a car …

And suddenly fear opened itself to me with its other facet - an unexpected opportunity to improve the quality of my life …