BODY AS A TARGET OF FEMALE NARCISSIC ACTIVITY. PART 2

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I walk in a stranger's vestment,

But people recognize me instantly

Like a seagull in a stranger's plumage.

Grigor Narekatsi

In pursuit of beauty, she soon forgot about the search itself, becoming a victim of her own creation. She became so dazzlingly beautiful that at times it seemed terrible, at times, undoubtedly, uglier than the ugliest woman in the world.

Henry Miller

Striving for bodily perfection, the narcissist, fixing his gaze on his own image, believes that admiration means love. A woman who carefully works on her own bodily image counts on love for her efforts. This illusion can have tragic consequences. A woman striving for greatness is never free, since she depends on the attitude of other people towards her and their assessments. She should always feel that others admire her for her perfect bodily image. Such a woman believes that the attitude towards her can change if the bodily grandeur is lost. Hence, the woman is permanently captured by the ideas of the embodiment of the cultural norm. The body is reduced to the level of a sign, a layout and is intended to evoke visual admiration. Taking care of the body image, a woman dwells in the space of emptiness. These investments never justify themselves, in any case, the scale of investments is never equal to the profit received, in some cases is inversely proportional to them.

Narcissism is a mental infantilism that does not allow one to realize the simple and eternal truths that are available to people who are not burdened with this ailment. The eternal truth is that neither love, nor happiness, nor joy, nor a sense of well-being have anything to do with the façade.

As SM Johnson notes [1], pride, euphoria, or flight, which can be observed in a narcissistic personality in her positive sense of Self, most often have a purely intellectual character and are not conditioned by anything; they do not really represent a coherent kinesthetic experience in the body, or even real satisfaction from success. Self representation turns out to be more visual and cognitive than kinesthetic. It becomes important to look better and think better of yourself than to feel better. Pleasant feelings appear secondarily and artificially if the environment approves of the created image. The artificially created image makes artificial relations to be realized.

Creating an image of bodily grandeur requires a significant expenditure of energy resources. The created image of bodily perfection requires constant investment; the image, in turn, creates a certain lifestyle - the world of role-playing behavior, in which the face dominates.

Libido in narcissism loses its connection with the body and is invested in the "Ego", fixing on its own person. In this case, the energy is borrowed from the main reservoir of libido - genital sexuality. The withdrawal of energy leads to a decrease in the sexual and sensory component. The transformation of libido energy into the energy of "Ego" activates inclusion in various activities to enhance their own image. Adequate reaction of a strong personality to objective physical disabilities or "modest" appearance is more of regret than shame. A strong personality, in contrast to a weak narcissistic, is able to accept and completely eliminate realistic negative self-esteem.

Narcissistic activity in relation to one's own body is combined with the fantasy that the modification of the bodily aspect will save other components of the personality. This illusion for the time being can maintain good health, but sooner or later, when true self-confidence is required, or the situation forces you to act not from the image, but to show the true essence, the narcissistic grandeur is exposed, and then those around you can notice how traumatized. such people feel vulnerable and inferior.

Practices covering the sphere of bodily improvement are actually not aimed at self-development, on the contrary, it is relevant to talk about the urge to get rid of the “I”. Narcissistic activity in relation to one's own body demonstrates disregard for natural limitations and confidence in the omnipotence of innovative technologies.

A woman who is in captivity of dependence on the needs of the social "I" loses a unique, living, authentic, but not perfect body, being guided by the generally accepted standards of the bodily ideal. If a woman fails to achieve the desired ideal image (one curl is not like everyone else, lips are too small, hips are too narrow) - this slightest flaw can strike the personality as a whole.

The pressure of social narcissism plays an important role in the emergence of adolescent girls refusing to eat (anorexia); a narcissistic component is essential in their personality profile.

Some women who are preoccupied with creating the perfect body develop depression due to their desire for greatness. Depression and the desire for greatness have similar characteristics: replacement of the authentic "I" with an imaginary one; perfectionism; unwillingness to hear the voice of true feelings; exploitation of other people for their own purposes; fear of losing love; displacement of aggressive impulses; predisposition to somatic disorders; super-intense feeling of shame, anxiety.

Depression is a sign of trauma during childhood. The infant learned to freeze emotions that would help him develop a strong sense of self over time. These are children who could not express elementary feelings: dissatisfaction, pain, joy from the sensations of their bodies. Some were even afraid to report being hungry. "You love your mother, really, then be patient, you don't need to cry and show your hunger." In adulthood, such a woman continues to do what others demand, and is unable to realize her true potential. This is a stop of possibilities, because everyone has something to give to this world, and not just take something from outside.

Fatal inevitability - aging is the curtain and horror of the failure of the narcissistic woman. The image loses its magnetism and no longer hypnotizes, it can no longer be counted on: baldness, wrinkled skin sagging in folds, memory lapses, constant headaches, shortness of breath, hallux valgus does not allow wearing elegant shoes. All this for a narcissistic woman is an infernal nightmare, the channels that fed inflation are drying up: “The fabric broke with the play of fire, the mirror broke, ringing:“Trouble! Damnation awaits me! " [2].

Globalization and maximization of the bodily image lead to the fact that the challenges of old age meet with denial. If the budget allows for an abdominoplasty, lifting or hair transplant, then this must be done. Prolonging youth, proving that they are still "anywhere", has become in the narcissistic world a kind of persecution. Old age for a narcissistic woman, chained to a bodily image, means opening others of little value, which causes unbearable shame. A woman who is not burdened with narcissistic persecution, with the onset of old age, is able to make a problem-solving restructuring of her own appearance and maintain self-confidence.

You need to allow yourself to be easier to relate to others and to yourself, to acknowledge your imperfection and the power that narcissistic cultural prescriptions have over you.

Giving up admiration is not easy, but it gives you a chance to avoid a much sadder experience - an extreme and not at all mesmerizing picture of narcissistic insanity.

The body-sign, a certificate of clearly fulfilled prescriptions of the narcissistic cultural code, is incapable of that cry of pleasure, which is available to a living, but not perfect, from the point of view of a narcissist, bewitched by an image, the body.

Love, appreciate your body, let it be your reliable partner, deserving more than being a target, into which narcissism will thrust its poisonous arrow.

[1] Johnson S. M. Character psychotherapy. - M.: Center for psychological culture, 2001.

[2] Lines from the ballad "The Sorceress of Shallot" by the English poet Alfred Tennyson, in which "the theme of reflection in the mirror" is raised. Reflections in the mirror are described as "shadows of a dream", "shadows of the world", a metaphor referring to the understanding that they can only be insignificant substitutes for the real world.