2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Sometimes, from the stories of clients, I learn that the devil knows what is happening in their families. The woman does not understand why she feels so bad with visible well-being. She tells for a long time that her husband probably loves her, buys expensive gifts, often leads her out into people. That she is free to do whatever she pleases with the money.
But there are a few BUTs that she is silent about. And this is not done on purpose. She's just so depressed by her husband that she doesn't realize it.
- We have a lot of jointly acquired property. In this case, I'm talking about real estate. In the distant past, when we had a falling out and I was in a depressed state, my husband told me to go to my mother and cool down there.
On my offer to leave for him for a while (and I had a small child), he said that there was nothing of mine here, and therefore I should go to my mother.
I did not understand what had happened, but when I left for my mother, something began to torment me. When I returned and we sat down to talk, I said that I didn’t like what he said that I had nothing. After all, in fact, we got married at a young age, and everything that we had, we made together.
My husband said that this is so, but in connection with his business, he is very worried that any check could raise suspicions of his decency, regarding the business, and everything that we had was recorded on his relatives.
I was very alarmed. My security has been compromised. I realized that I had become powerless. He spoke to me in a gentle voice, and said that as long as I was with him, I would have everything. I felt cheated, but there was nothing I could do. Fear became my constant feeling. I didn’t understand where it came from. But he was always there.
The moment came when I decided to leave for one of our many apartments and be with me. I informed my husband about this, but he said that I had nothing to do there. That the apartments are rented out at a bargain price, and he will not interrupt lease agreements for the sake of my nonsense.
I settled down again. I could only go to the hotel for a few days. There, nothing happened to me with the rest. I was even more scared. Thoughts were so fragmented that I could not collect myself for a minute.
It began to seem to me that now, when I am completely deprived of control of my life, and I cannot use the property the way I want, I need to constantly be only at home in order to control the process.
Headaches appeared, the eye was often shaking. The husband did not go to the dialogue. Somehow, once again starting a conversation about the fact that I also need confidence in the future, my husband offered to rewrite one tiny apartment for me. I agreed.
When the time came to sign the contract, it turned out that I was left with a tiny apartment, and in my turn I was giving up several apartments, houses, cars and a summer residence. I had no choice but to sign it. I thought, even if something specific than nothing at all.
But from that moment on, I constantly think, and wish him death. I hate myself for these thoughts, I often read a prayer book. But I can’t do anything with my aggression. I am very offended that having lived with a person for so long, giving him the opportunity to develop and develop his business, I was left with nothing.
Just do not think that I am sitting at home and living at his expense. No. I work too. But unfortunately I cannot earn as much as my husband. I still have a house and three children.
My beloved Yalom often wrote about how he really felt when he received clients. I also want to write - I wanted to tell her - LEAVE !!!!! But she couldn't. I wanted to figure it out for sure.
She came several more times. Then she disappeared. I called myself when she didn’t come. It turned out she was in the hospital with a stroke. And not the best. She was delighted with my call, said that this was to be expected.
That she no longer wanted to be in the same territory with him. His latent aggression did not give her life. She was exhausted. And the best thing that the conduction could do for her was to send her exactly here - to the city hospital.
How often do women find themselves in situations where pride and prejudice prevent them from getting out? I so want these women to be protected.
So that when entering into marriage they immediately stipulate convenient conditions for themselves
That they could not thoughtlessly give themselves to the mercy
So that they understand that everyone wants to kick a sick dog
And so that it is not so easy to kick it, it must be protected
And about such men I will say - it is very shallow, to live with a woman, and put her in a situation of forced dependence. Only weak men can do this.
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