What Kind Of Men Do We Attract?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want to share with you the story of my relationship with men.

For many years I was in search of the very man who would meet all my expectations, however, meeting almost any of them, I mentally immediately cut off the possibility of a relationship.

The already familiar phrase sounded in my head - not "He". I did not understand at all why I was so good, beautiful, talented and special to meet such men unworthy of me.

Married men older than me were attracted to me like a magnet. I fell desperately in love and suffered from the inability to be together and from unrequited love. After all, only with them, it seemed to me that I would find happiness. There were other men, unmarried, young, but completely unwilling to enter into a serious relationship. You can say so - revelers, for whom the more beautiful and young girls they seduced, the better.

In communicating with relatives, girlfriends, when watching films and in scraps of random phrases, I very often heard that - "All men are goats", "To our shore, if not shit, then chips …". I didn't really believe in it, but from such pressure from the outside world and my own sad experience I was very close to it.

But I wanted something completely different. I imagined that my man would be tall, strong, intelligent, sincere, understanding, honest, fair, successful, ready to act for me, we would love each other madly and much more. Well, women will understand me.

I have never met such men in my life, although numerous mini-series, Hollywood films and novels tried to convince me that they still exist somewhere, but not in my life. Some special women have them.

In the end, I decided that I had such an unhappy fate and let me live the rest of my life alone. After all, if only I don't need someone, but that very person is not there. In general, at the age of 35 I gave up on myself, as years of searching and waiting led me to complete despondency and disappointment. I remember my 35th birthday when I thought to myself - that's all! End! I will never meet anyone else and nothing good will happen in my personal life. I recorded myself as a complete failure, and my future seemed to me in the form of an old maid living with a cat and looking sadly out of the window.

Probably, everything would have happened like this, if I had not started looking for the reasons for my position.

She began to study psychology, read articles, watch thematic webinars and video courses. I realized some important things, including that I learned that the most important role in how a woman's relationship with men is played is her relationship with her father.

Having plunged headlong into this problematic topic, I understood a lot for myself! I loved my dad madly, trusted him and was proud of him, however, when I was 23 years old, he left my mother for another woman. It was a bolt from the blue, I just couldn't believe it and that's it. I remember that, despite my age, I cried every day for a whole year and waited for him to return. He didn’t come back.

I took it so close to my heart, as if he had abandoned ME and betrayed me. I remember that when I realized that he was cheating and had already lived for two families, it was as if something snapped and snapped in me. I still could not understand how you can so simply erase 30 years of family life. For me it was a stab in the heart.

I shut down and stopped trusting all men. It was imprinted in my subconscious that if my beloved dad in the world, whom I trusted immensely, did this to me, so what can I expect from others.

Now I began to realize what kind of vibration I was radiating into space - it was distrust of a man and a constant expectation that you could be betrayed at any moment.

Of course, as a young girl, I wanted a relationship, but deep down, I considered all men to be traitors who, at the first opportunity, would find themselves someone better and younger. A very important point that my dad left for a woman 17 years younger, this also had a strong influence on me. Intellectually, I wanted a serious and harmonious relationship, but my subconscious mind broadcast that a man is pain and betrayal, do not let them into my heart. Later I learned that the subconscious mind has about 12 times more influence on our life than the mind.

After such a deep analysis, it became very clear to me why adult married men were attracted to my life. My subconscious has found a loophole. On the one hand, I was in a so-called relationship, on the other hand, the fact that the man was married protected me from betrayal. The logic is that he is married, so it’s not dangerous for me that he will leave his wife, then leave me, and as a result, I will not be hurt. I tried by any means to escape from the pain that I experienced from my father's departure and once again did not want to go through this. The fact that the men were older spoke from the fact that I sorely lacked my father's attention, warmth and care.

Sometimes there were free young men who wanted to get married and be with me, but I did my best to push them away. Again, for the reason that if suddenly we succeed and we begin to live together, and then he will take it and go to another younger one. And it will hurt again! Well, no, I couldn't afford that. All I had to do was exclaim - why am I so unlucky! Then I did not understand that an unconscious resentment against my dad and all men constantly lived and eaten inside me.

There was another significant case in my life. When I was able to deal with him, everything changed radically.

Several years ago I met a man, at that time he was in a state of divorce from his wife. Since I really liked him, I was even glad of his divorce, because I thought that this man would be my future husband.

Once we talked with him about his ex-wife, she was also 35 years old at that time. In a conversation, he mentioned things that were unpleasant for me:

- He said that she was already 35 years old and who needs her now;

- He shared with me that if he now met a young, beautiful, 17-year-old blonde, he would fall head over heels in love;

- That his ex is not at all beautiful and her breasts are not very good;

- And in life she has not achieved anything special;

- His 65-year-old dad has a 30-year-old mistress and he considers her already old.

All this terribly hooked me. Arriving home, I plunged into depression, I kept thinking, how can this be. After all, I liked this man so much, how can he think and speak like that. Terribly disappointed, she began to understand this situation. And here's what I found out.

As you might have guessed, this man was not to blame for anything. He just mirrored all my fears, which was that I:

- I'm ashamed of my age and I'm afraid that no one will need it anymore;

- I do not believe that someone can love me for who I really am;

“I’m afraid she’s not very pretty, and her breasts are small;

- I have not achieved anything special in life.

This truth about myself amazed me so much that I was horrified by my attitudes. Then I understood very clearly that while I was thinking of men as traitors, who see in a woman only a beautiful toy to satisfy their primitive needs, and after playing enough they throw it and find better and younger - until then, exactly such men will be me meet.

The Law of Attraction says that what you radiate is what you get! In the above example, you can clearly see that my subconscious thoughts about men were very accurately realized in my life. The main thing that I radiated then was distrust of a man, fear of betrayal, rejection of masculine nature. And such men were there who were not honest with their wives, looking only for pleasures, did not respect the female nature, value a woman only by external signs (beauty, age, breast size and other virtues).

When the reasons for my unsuccessful personal life became clear to me, of course, I decided to change everything. It was about me, which meant that I had to change myself. And men are not goats at all.

I had a strong desire to change the situation, I worked on myself in the ways that were available to me at that time. The most important thing was to admit to myself that it was in me, not in anyone else, or in those “wrong” men whom I met. After this insight, I studied similar experiences of other women, read many articles and books, did techniques for forgiveness and opening the heart.

As a result, I understood my usual roles in relationships and subconscious attitudes. I remembered all the good things about my dad, about all my men, thanked them for their experience and lessons. Probably, the amount of read, done and realized about myself, after a few months passed into a new quality and everything came together at one point.

I remember well this day, December 31, several years ago. Sitting alone with a glass of champagne, I remembered everyone with love and thanked and cried. Some kind of lightness appeared in my soul, my heart opened, I forgave everyone with love and let go. I forgave myself for everything that happened. Probably, that evening a very strong transformation happened to me:

- I calmed down and accepted everything as it is;

- Mentally sent gratitude and love to all the men with whom life brought me, and first of all to my dad;

- I remembered all the moments of happiness and joy with men that they gave me;

- I remembered their best qualities;

- I asked God for a man who suits me, while accepting that he may or may not be in my life;

- Calm, quiet and happy went to bed.

I don't know what exactly worked, but after 9 days I met my future husband, and he was a completely different man. I have changed, and the universe has responded favorably to my change. Until now, I sometimes wonder how my husband is not like those who were in my life before him. He respects me, appreciates, loves and sincerely treats me. We talk with him heart to heart, we do not hide anything from each other and we are interested together. Everything became different, because I found something for which I can respect, appreciate and love men. I opened my heart for a man - and a man opened his to me. I am sincere with him - and he is with me.

On the example of my life, I became convinced that our relationship depends on ourselves. As we think about people and life in the depths of our subconscious, such people and situations are attracted to us.

The secret is very simple: if you want to change your life, change, work on yourself and your attitudes, and the world around you and people will react very quickly to your changes. Earlier it seemed to me that nothing would help me to break out of the circle of repeated failures in my personal life. But it turned out that everything is possible! And psychology, attention to my life and awareness of my responsibility for everything that I attract into my life helped me a lot in this.

After all these realizations associated with my relationships with men, I was able to independently work on this topic in about half a year. This is quite a long time, but after all, I have lived according to a certain subconscious program for more than 30 years and, of course, it took time to change my negative attitudes. Now, relying on the accumulated experience and a deep understanding of cause-and-effect relationships, I can figure out and solve such issues much faster.

Thanks to all these changes and events, my life has changed radically in 2 years!

I got married, changed my relationship with mom and dad, fell in love with and accepted men, lowered my level of claims against them, the "goats" were somewhere in the past. I began to work less and earn more, took up painting, started writing articles and much more.

Therefore, I can heartily recommend to people who want to change their lives - to seek help and understand their attitudes. After some time, you yourself will begin to notice how your life will begin to transform. Thanks to!

Irina Stetsenko