Anger

Video: Anger

Video: Anger
Video: Farewell Counter Blox... 2024, March
Anger
Anger
Anonim

Anger. A very important FEELING (not to be confused with anger and evil as a concept). Where it is suppressed for a long time, access to the energy of desires is lost (I don’t know what I want), there over time experiences “I don’t know who I am, I don’t know what I am” appear, a variety of ailments appear there, if it takes a long time and suppress very thoroughly. There appear uncontrollable outbursts of anything - total guilt (read - anger directed at oneself), depression can form there, an inner critic appears there, who settles in the head like a fat troll and depreciates every step, questioning his own goodness and so as not to collapse from all this, there are projections into the outside world - all people become shit, the weather too, and in general a lot of things immediately become shit and injustice. Where anger is suppressed, there arise constant resentment from which you can endlessly cry into your pillow at night, or walk with an often sore throat. Anger - it can be different. It happens as a protection of the valuable. And it happens as a symptom that I somehow do not take responsibility for my life, believing that others should do what I think is fair and right, that others should already understand what I mean, even when I do not say it directly. But in any case, anger is a regulator of one's own boundaries. Where anger is suppressed, there is no clarity in the experience of one's own boundaries. Throws it in violation of strangers, then in excessive bending of its own. Anger is often called a "negative feeling," and it is often believed that being angry is bad, stupid, pointless, wrong, unrighteous. And it seems to me that the whole point is that expressing anger is a whole skill that is taught in few places. Often, anger is considered dangerous - dangerous for relationships, dangerous for evaluating others (what will people think of me? I want to be "good" in the eyes of others … but in general there is a whole locomotive of everything that can drag on for it. Anger is the teeth of a person. chew on what is useful. They can protect yourself. They can express yourself. The question is not whether to be angry or suppress your anger. The question is HOW to express your anger. When I worked with children, for many of them it was a whole discovery that your anger can be expressed by the words "I am angry now", "When you take a toy from me or destroy my buildings, ruin my drawings, I am angry, it is unpleasant for me, please do not do this, otherwise I will distance myself from you / I will swear with you / I will not trust you. "Before that, the only way to protect yourself and express anger was to take away the toy, ruin the drawing in response, hit, call, throw a tantrum, and once, the boy endured, endured, and then took a knife and rushed at his abuser. rykh, no one has ever taught to express their anger, they grabbed their hearts, felt shame, shouted at their children, forced them to stop it = suppress their anger. After all, what will people think?

12
12

Few people taught us to recognize our anger: “You are now angry because Vanya took your toy away. You have the right to be angry and say about it:“I am angry and I don’t want you to take the toy, return it.”“You cannot beat Vanya it hurts. But you can take care of yourself by identifying yourself and warnings about what you will do if Vanya does not hear you and will continue.”Or“You are angry now, because you want to continue playing, but it’s time to end the game. I notice you in your anger. But you do not need to beat me for this, it hurts me and I will not allow myself to be beaten. You can talk about your anger and experience it. I see that you don't want to end the game. But these are the rules, there's nothing you can do about it. We must leave, no matter how hard it is. "Anger is a way to understand oneself. A way to feel important, oneself. Anger is always a marker of something important. And as a rule, it is a wrapper for deeper feelings and experiences. But without realizing the anger, we seem to throw out the boxes with this wrapper called "anger", not knowing what is inside these boxes. And there are often jewels called "my values". Giving ourselves the opportunity to feel anger by living it, we remove these wrappers, exploring what is wrapped in them. Living in anger is not the same as hitting in the face, insulting, destroying everything around you. Living in anger means staying in touch with that feeling, giving it as much space as needed. Take care of your own safety and the environment. Insulting a person and labeling yourself “I'm angry when you do this” or “I'm angry with you now and I'm ready to continue the conversation when I calm down” are completely different things. For in the first case (in insults) excitement is overwhelmed, on which actions are performed that can be regretted "sober up" from anger. In the second case, there is a clear designation of oneself and the allocation of space to oneself for the ripening of anger into some other quality. For example, in realizing the value of not allowing yourself to be insulted. Or in the experience of regret that it is very sad that everything did not happen the way you wanted. Or experiencing the value of a relationship with this person. Or in the realization that, in fact, under this anger lives your own fear or vulnerability. Anger is a loyal dog that is always on guard for the safety and values of its owner. It is only important to tame to make friends with this dog.

Recommended: