How Do Parents Affect Your Personal Life? Part 2. Figure Of The Father

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Video: How Do Parents Affect Your Personal Life? Part 2. Figure Of The Father

Video: How Do Parents Affect Your Personal Life? Part 2. Figure Of The Father
Video: Part 2 of "Fix My Father with 34 Children" | Iyanla: FIx My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network 2024, March
How Do Parents Affect Your Personal Life? Part 2. Figure Of The Father
How Do Parents Affect Your Personal Life? Part 2. Figure Of The Father
Anonim

Father is the rules. These are the norms. This is the form.

The father teaches how to behave with the opposite sex for both sons and daughters.

As a girl communicates with her father, then she will communicate with men. She is training on her father initially. And for her, subconsciously, he is a model of a man. Even if she doesn't like something in him and she says that she will never be with someone like her dad. Will be, and how! It's just going to be a disguised copy of the Pope. And any guy with time will begin to behave with her as dad did. Now, if, for example, her father was too strict, demanding and tough, she chooses just that. Paradoxically, after some time, even the softest man next to her will become tough.

The boy learns his relationship with women by stroking the way his father treats his mother. If the father did not put his mother into anything, then the boy will spit from the high bell tower to women's tears. Of the women, he will only regret and love his mother, moreover, like a son trying to become an ideal man for her. That is, everything is not easy.

From the father to the child comes the concept of strength and weakness. If the child sees that the father is not strong enough to protect and provide for the family, he is angry with him. And strives to become stronger. And only God knows how the concept of strength is interpreted in the head of a young man. And in what direction he will direct these forces - in the positive or in the negative. A person with a feeling that he had a strong father feels safe and secure. It makes no sense for him to assert himself, so it is easier to build relationships with both women and men, even with aliens. This, by the way, is a signal for women to more often give their husbands to show their masculine strength and mind. So that the children believe: my dad can do everything!

Here are three common negative influences from the Pope

SITUATION: If a child had to cry a lot because of his father, if he often offended him, he did not listen. If there are many unspoken and not wept children's grievances against the father. If the father hurt, punished, showed cruelty.

CONSEQUENCES FOR THE CHILD: The girl, having matured, chooses as life companions those who can offend her the most. For some of them, the meaning of life turns into a retelling of stories about how "I was offended, there is injustice all around, and normal men have degenerated." And also, do you know that in many respects the relationship with the father is then transferred to the relationship with the boss? The child, who was often offended by his father, in the future is always unlucky with the bosses. I have such a friend, to listen to her, so someone constantly infringes on her rights and interferes with her life. By the way, she jokes very well on this topic and any other "sick" from her life. Offended children generally have a very good sense of humor. After all, laughter is a defensive reaction to pain. They make good satirists and writers. This is how they deal with their childhood traumas.

The boy of the unkind dad then either just as easily hurts others, or is very afraid of offending, and therefore, instead of explanations, he can disappear and generally keep in suspense. Let, they say, people guess for themselves. But more often than not, it seems like two people are hidden in it - good and evil. And he himself does not always give an account of why he behaved this way and not otherwise.

SITUATION: If the father was not emotional, did not tell the child about his love, did not play with him, did not show paternal protection.

CONSEQUENCES FOR THE CHILD: When a daughter grows up, she begins to fall in love in turn either with men who are indifferent to her, or with other people's husbands. Her type of relationship is love addiction. The one who had such a dad, then begins to strive for the man in every possible way, directly hammer him like a woodpecker. And he is wildly attractive to her until he reciprocates. And then suddenly all the passion blows away like a wind.

And for a boy, it becomes synonymous with strength not to show emotion. Saying "I love you" is like losing to a knowingly weak opponent. And he often suffers from a choice: he seems to be drawn to a passionate and sincerely loving woman, but he feels safer with depicting indifference and two-faced. He is afraid of strong feelings and if he falls in love, hides as long as possible, or even hopes over time to cool down and become "normal" again.

SITUATION: Children very rarely saw their father. Or it was a weekend dad, and he had a different family. Or he was engrossed in a romance on the side. He could give a lot of emotions to the child, but he was often simply not physically present.

CONSEQUENCES FOR THE CHILD: Girls in this family are often mentally prepared to become permanent lovers at worst. At best, they are not intimidated by long-distance relationships, guest marriages. It's good when it just translates into a marriage with a seafarer. If dad had a mistress, then for a daughter a man's polygamy is the norm. She will even justify him and is always ready to joke on this topic. Although, in fact, mistresses are turned on either from promiscuity, when the parents have not determined the moral boundaries of what is permissible, or because of the complex psychological problem of a man in a relationship with his mother. When he married someone who continued to play the role of a mother, and then matured into a relationship with a woman. And then he begins to rush - he loves that, and this, but with different love. A mistress is not an accident. Only a woman with low self-esteem and fear of suddenly being left without male support will agree to this role.

If the father did not love the mother and kept the appearance of marriage for the sake of the children, the mother begins to compete with the daughter for the love of the father. And the daughter automatically competes with the mother. A girl from childhood gets used to fighting with another woman for the attention of a man. And she no longer imagines her personal life without this struggle. Married harasses her husband with suspicions of infidelity, as if she wants it. And if you suddenly manage to catch the faithful, life immediately begins to play with new exciting colors …

But boys, by the way, can go by the opposite. Like, the father was not enough, so I will be a good father. But at the same time, he may not start a family for a very long time, for the reason that he simply does not know how this is done. From the negative: he can easily copy his father's lifestyle, live in two families, or even decide to become a playboy and perceive the relationship as just entertainment, nothing serious.

BY THE WAY

Daddy's daughters, darlings of fathers, it would seem, should not have any problems. But in life, these girls quickly jump out to marry … mama's favorites. Because they have each other's complement. But after a while, a mutual disgusting relationship begins to each other. And quarrels like ping-pong: "Yes, you are so-and-so" - "And you are so-so-so-so-so-so-so-so." And everything is simple - he lacks femininity in her (like his mother), and she lacks masculinity in him (like her dad). And the result is a divorce. That's right, if the daughter was mother's favorite, and the son was father's favorite.

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