About Narcissism And Correctness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Narcissism emasculates feelings and makes relationships “right” (from the point of view of the narcissist, right, of course, it's okay that from your point of view this is not convenient and not right, the main thing is that the narcissist is right and comfortable). In such a relationship it is very cold, except for the rules, techniques, instructions, advice, criticism, comments about your wrongness, there is nothing. There are no feelings. Because, if we are talking about the borderline narcissist, then he does not seem to feel them. No, he can show any feeling and will show it appropriately and correctly, but you will always have the feeling that there is no feeling, that it is as if trained. A sense of the formality of the relationship will haunt you all the time throughout the duration of the relationship with the narcissist.

How can a narcissist be recognized on the Internet? The easiest way:

1. Write a post or comment and make a spelling mistake. You can, due to inattention or lack of knowledge, or a typo or when switching from Russian to Ukrainian and vice versa, some discrepancies in the spelling of words may slip through.. It does not matter. And the first comment that you will receive from a narcissist - it will not be in the essence of the topic, but about your spelling mistake. Not properly! After all, the narcissist may not catch the essence of fasting, but he will catch the wrong. He is geared towards this.

2. Write a post about your opinion and you will receive criticism and advice from the narcissists, and you will also receive a lot of negativity, since from their point of view you are completely wrong thinking and you urgently need to be corrected and made correct. He will not read a narcissist, and if he does not like something, he will pass by or simply write: you know, I do not agree with you, I have a different opinion such and such.. A person will write this without condemning you, without criticism, he will simply voice his alternative opinion. And he will not even condemn your opinion. But a narcissist, he will argue until he turns blue, to murder and suicide, and prove that you are wrong.

Next, I want to clarify a little for a general understanding of who daffodils are:

There are three levels of personality organization:

1. Neurotic (these are conditionally healthy people with neuroses (there are no healthy people)).

2. Psychotic (this is a zone where there are hallucinations of various kinds, delusions, sociopathy, deviant behavior.

3. Borderline (this is the zone in the middle between neurosis and psychosis)

In each of these levels of personality organization there is a whole set of character structures: hysterical, narcissistic, schizoid, depressive, masochistic, compulsive-obsessive, manic, etc. That is, character structures are strung at each level of organization. So if the narcissist turned out to be of a neurotic level, then this is a conditionally healthy person, with slightly protruding accents of the narcissist and - these are people who are such souls, they are successful, as a rule, but the rule is a very important category for them. if the narcissist falls into the psychotic level of personality organization, then these are sociopaths, maniacs, rapists, deviants. But most often the narcissist finds himself in the border zone of the organization of the personality - this is, as it were, his home, his homeland. There he rushes between the two poles - neurotic and psychotic. At the same time, it can also be a socially successful person. But building a relationship with him is very difficult. This category of daffodils is discussed in the article.

Why would a narcissist correct your spelling mistakes?

1. He suffers greatly when he sees imperfection in himself and others. Therefore, it is very difficult for him to bear your "illiteracy" and he sincerely wants to help you become better. He will notice not only a mistake, he will tell you that your lipstick is bad today, that you look bad today, or something else from this category. But the motive may not be to harm you, but to simply help you become better. He sincerely thinks he is helping you. But your senses elude him. He is unable to put himself in your place and understand that with his unsolicited advice or remarks he criticizes you and makes you painful or unpleasant.

2. The narcissist by criticizing and giving advice increases his importance in his own eyes and in the eyes of other people. Because this is his blind spot: the inner self-esteem of the narcissist is very unstable and he constantly staggers from pole to pole: from insignificance to greatness. Therefore, when he criticizes and makes a remark to you, you need to understand that he is doing this out of his own suffering and the feeling that he does not matter, that he is not noticed or respected. This is his way to cope with the inner pain of feeling that "I am nobody and there is no way to call me".

Where does it come from?

Such an organization of personality is formed in childhood, when parents and teachers praise only for grades, love only for merit. And the child is constantly forced to seek love by meeting the expectations of adults. And sometimes these expectations turn out to be unattainable, beyond the strength of the child and she cannot cope and experiences a drop in self-esteem. These are the so-called "used" children.

I am writing this article with a certain tinge of sympathy for such people, although I know how much aggression around them they "reel" on themselves with such behavior.

If you find yourself paired with a narcissist and want to maintain a relationship:

1. Be understanding about your partner's injury.

2. Praise him sincerely and a lot and you will notice that the number of his criticisms towards you will decrease.

3. Ask him about who in his life humiliated and criticized him and make it clear that perhaps this is the origin of his habit of criticizing everyone around.

If you yourself recognize the narcissist in yourself:

1. The first thing I can suggest is Try not to compare yourself to others. You will never be anyone else. By comparing yourself to someone else, you are giving up yourself.

2. Try to focus more on the process and not on the expectation of the result. do not paint pictures of the future for yourself, stay more often in the present.

3. Praise yourself more often and more, because no one but you can satisfy the need for recognition.

3. Try to live the wrong week. If you suddenly enjoy staying there for life.