What To Do With Depression After The Death Of A Loved One?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Every day on Earth, for various reasons, a huge number of people die, leaving behind loved ones who sincerely mourn them. Experiencing a bereavement in the form of depression or even deep grief after the death of a loved one (such as a mother or husband) is a perfectly normal reaction to such a loss. And especially acutely people experience the death of a child (son or daughter). However, in some people, the natural manifestations of grief, such as guilt, insomnia, numbness, and sobbing, can lead to more serious manifestations, including grief (deep grief) and depressive mental disorder (Clinical Major Depression). Symptoms of Natural Mourning Grief differs from natural mourning in its duration and intensity. People who experience normal grief can most often explain why they are sad. They continue to function normally in society and are usually able to overcome their intense sadness within a relatively short period of time (usually a month or two).

Usually, after the death of a very close person (husband, mother, son or daughter, brother or sister), such intense experiences as grief or depression can intensify over several days, weeks or even months. And sometimes such depression can develop even after the death of a beloved animal.

Almost every person, faced with the death of a loved one (especially a child, mother, beloved husband), will experience the following natural symptoms:

- guilt for what they did (or did not do) before the death of a loved one. So, a mother can reproach herself for not saving her son;

- like this: "It would be better if I died instead of him!"

Thus, parents may regret that death did not take them instead of the child; an imaginary feeling that they see or hear the deceased;

-sleep problems

- changing habits in food and physical activity;

- a wish to be in social isolation.

The stages of loss and grief

To understand how real clinical depression can develop from ordinary grief, you need to know what stages people go through after the death of a loved one (husband, mother, child, etc.).

In 1969 g. psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross presented in her book "On Death and Dying" 5 stages of grief after the death of a loved one. These stages of grief are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. In case of loss, the person spends a different amount of time at each stage. In addition, each stage can differ in its intensity. These five stages can occur in any order. We often move between these stages until we come to terms with death. All people grieve in different ways. Some people are outwardly very emotional, while others will experience grief in themselves, perhaps even without tears.

But, one way or another, all people go through five stages of grief:

The first stage is denial and isolation

The second stage is anger;

The third stage is bargaining;

The fourth stage is depression;

The fifth stage is acceptance.

While all the emotions people experience at any of these stages are natural, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages - and that's okay too. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to go through all these stages in order to move on. In fact, some people are capable of grieving without going through any of these stages. So don't worry about how you "should" feel or what stage you should be at right now.

When does Grief become Depression?

All of the above symptoms and stages of grief are completely normal. They help people adapt to loss and accept new living conditions after the death of a loved one. The distinction between grief and clinical depression is not always easy to see because they have many symptoms in common, but there is still a difference. Remember, grief comes in waves. It includes a wide range of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you are grieving very much, you can still have moments of joy or happiness. And with depression, the feeling of emptiness and despair is constant. If the grieving person is experiencing severe symptoms of depression, then it is time to seek help.

This is:

- must be done in cases where the grieving person has:

- lack of concentration and complete inability to concentrate;

- an unusually sharp sensation of one's own uselessness or guilt;

- anxiety or depression that does not go away, but only gets worse over time; problems with sleep that last more than six weeks;

- obsessive memories during the day and nightmares at night, which constantly keep a person in suspense;

- a sharp increase or loss of weight;

- unexplained physical symptoms, such as unreasonable pain in one or another part of the body, heart palpitations, profuse sweating, digestive problems or shortness of breath; - thoughts that the deceased continues to be around, visual or auditory hallucinations;

- strange or antisocial behavior;

- thoughts of suicide, which can only be stopped by very serious arguments (for example, the mother has another child);

- severing all social contacts.

All of these symptoms can indicate the onset of clinical depression due to the death of a loved one. If any of these symptoms persist for more than two months after the death of a loved one, it serves as a signal that the person needs professional help. Symptoms of depression or post-traumatic shock will be most pronounced if a person witnesses the sudden death of loved ones, or was nearby at the time of the death of a loved one, such as a child.

Depression as a complication of mourning

Negative feelings such as hopelessness and helplessness are part of the normal mourning process, but they can also be symptoms of depression or other mental disorders. But sometimes the grief that is normal in this situation turns into a mental disorder.

Depression is just one of a number of mental disorders that can be associated with the death of a loved one. Other disorders include generalized anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. No wonder one of the proposed future changes in the classification of mental illness, proposed by American psychiatrists, is the introduction of a new category of mental illness - aggravated experience of grief. Complicated grief, also sometimes referred to as traumatic or long-term grief, has been suggested to be considered a complex mental disorder. It will be diagnosed if the general symptoms of severe grief, such as longing after the death of a loved one (husband, child or other relatives), difficulty moving on, depression or anger after such a loss, last more than six months. The diagnosis of Complicated Grief Disorder is expected to be based on two criteria:

First criterion. The grieving person yearns for the deceased daily and very intensely.

Second criterion. A person must have, and also interfere with his normal functioning, at least five of the following symptoms:

the impossibility of accepting this death; feeling overwhelmed or shocked after the death of a loved one; anger or bitterness experienced after the death of relatives (for example, anger at a husband that he left his wife); numbness or stupor (this happens especially often after the loss of a child); Difficulty defining the purpose of life after bereavement extreme uncertainty about their role in life; avoiding anything that is a reminder of death; inability to trust people, since such a person believes that a loved one betrayed him by his death; feeling that life has lost all meaning.

Preventing Depression After Loss

After grief becomes clinical depression, it can no longer be overcome with the usual mourning, so in this case, you cannot do without consulting a psychotherapist. Treatment for such depression usually includes antidepressants and interpersonal or cognitive behavioral therapy. However, there are ways in which people themselves can prevent grief from turning into depression. Live the reality, accept the reality of loss, and realize that even in grief, it never ceases to be a part of everyday life. Chat with family and friends more often. Go the other way. Try to adjust to your new reality by doing things differently. For example, take up a new hobby, or give up activities that are painful reminders of a loved one. Move forward - push yourself to move, communicate and participate in pleasant events. Regular physical activity is necessary: Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day, learn to relieve stress with deep breathing or meditation, and sleep at least 7-9 hours a day. The Right Diet: Make sure your diet is healthy. Stop destroying yourself - give up alcohol, sleeping pills, and caffeine.

The death of someone you loved and cared about is always very painful. You can experience all kinds of negative emotions, including heartache and sadness. This is a perfectly normal reaction to such a significant loss. Know that there is no right or wrong way to deal with the depression caused by the death of a loved one, but there are effective ways to deal with the pain so you can move on with your life.