Why Troyes Are More Successful Than Excellent Students

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Have you noticed the fact that at school age, some people were successful in receiving awards (grades and praise from teachers), others - their pants were sitting, not particularly standing out, others only received poor grades and reviews from teachers.

But after school, in adulthood, everything changes significantly.

It takes 15 years after leaving school.

Most excellent students receive an average salary.

Some of the Losers remained a bummer, although many settled down and healed quite normally.

But C-fours in the general mass somehow became more successful than the excellent ones.

Many now highly paid workers in reputable firms, some hold management positions, and some even have their own business.

And here the excellent students have a misunderstanding and resentment - how so? Life is not fair.

I’m hunchbacked here at work, and I barely have enough money to pay my mortgage and go somewhere cheap once a year to relax.

But those goats - somehow they already managed to acquire apartments, buy good cars, and they constantly travel around Europe and Asia.

How so? Why is success in life somehow related to grades at school?

Moreover, logically everything should be the other way around:

- excellent students should be bosses and earn a lot

- fours are valuable workers with salary above average

- C grade workers work as ordinary low-level employees with the same salary

- well, the poor students should be without exception plumbers and loaders …

If you agree that this SHOULD BE, then you are wearing a certain pattern of behavior inscribed in the subconscious.

What is this behavior model, where did it come from?

Let's remember childhood.

How did we get what we wanted? For example, some kind of toy.

We went to our parents, and then the situation developed like this:

Mom or dad, having heard our desire, told us that they would buy a toy when there was a salary - in two weeks.

But, of course, as a rule, they added something like: "If you will obey all this time." And I wanted a toy. Oh, how I wanted!

And we behaved well: we studied, cleaned the room, were efficient in the tasks assigned to us by our parents. They were obedient. And thus they received the coveted toy.

The second, also common option:

Mom or dad, having heard a request to buy the desired toy, told us that they had no money for it. When will they be? Never. We are poor.

After long and long persuasions, requests, tears of resentment, the parents soften - they feel sorry for us and say: “The money comes with hard work, son (daughter). You have to work hard to get what you want.

You haven't earned a toy yet.

So if you want to get it: do the cleaning in the room, study well, do your homework, always come home on time, don’t noah, be patient, don’t be lazy."

Wait. And if you diligently fulfilled our instructions, we will see it, evaluate it, and buy you a toy.

Sound familiar?

So, parents, manipulating our vivid desires, by the "carrot and stick method" lay a certain pattern of behavior, which, after repeated repetition, is recorded in our subconscious mind.

And it sounds something like this: "I GET WHAT I WANT through OBEYING and SERVING."

Note that this model of behavior during OUR CHILDHOOD was working and PROVIDED THE NECESSARY RESULT. In the environment where we grew up, it was useful for us.

We grow up, the environment changes. We are already independent.

But we transfer the same model of behavior to the world around us.

And in these new changed conditions, it no longer gives the desired result, or it does not exist at all.

You got a job. Thought connections work inside you:

If I obey my boss, come to work on time, work diligently - then … the boss will appreciate me and give me some kind of "bun", for example, an increase in salary.

And we work hard every day, days go by day, month by month, but somehow nothing changes. But for some reason they gave an increase to Petrov, who now leaves for a break ahead of time, and allows himself to be late.

And this Sidorov, without education, who worked for only six months, was generally promoted.

Our children's model of behavior in the parental family - we unconsciously transfer to the world around us.

Our boss automatically becomes a “parent”, and we think that our task is to work hard, and work efficiently and efficiently, and … the boss will notice, appreciate and give gifts.

In fact, we are fulfilling a kind of contract:

“I am not worthy of a high salary. To deserve it, I will work, work and work. I will be patient and wait when I deserve it.

And you (the boss), when deserving reaches a certain level, will fulfill your part of the obligations: you will give me a raise to my salary.

The only problem is that we sign this contract only from our side. The boss does not know about it.

He does not know at all what was there in your family. His criteria, by which he determines who to keep, whom to fire, what salary to pay, are his own.

And you can plow like an ox, and once a year come to him to ask for an addition to the salary and get a refusal. The boss may name the reasons for the refusal, may not name it, or simply refuse to refuse it as an excuse.

But every time, at the subconscious level, we receive a signal, which means that we have not earned it yet, the bar has not been reached. And we go to work further, i.e. - deserve that very virtual bar, after which we get what we want.

Only now, you have already been working at the company for 5 years, and there is still no global increase, but

Petrov (although he worked for only six months) the salary was added a second time, and now he gets more than yours. And where is the justice?

And here we fall into an offense against the authorities, the world. In envy of other employees who, for some reason, were lucky.

And we complain to our wife / husband, colleagues at work. This form just worked in childhood - playing the game “they hurt me, have mercy on me” - we could get what we wanted from our parents. But in a changed environment, it does not work. We do this unconsciously. First, we obey and deserve, when patience bursts, we fall out in offense at the offenders (acting as parents), and then fall into self-pity.

And while this model of behavior is unconscious and not changed for another, we will fulfill it and fulfill it, concluding contracts with the world, and then fall into insult and shrink to ourselves, because the world does not fulfill this contract (to which it did not subscribe!)

And all because we conclude it unilaterally. This is our subconscious choice.

If we grew up in an environment where parents instilled such a model of getting what they want: obey and deserve, do what they say, endure and wait - then we subconsciously transfer this to other people.

And if you have problems in your personal life, you earn little money, work in an unloved job, often fall into insult and pity, then you (unconsciously) have found someone to obey. And obey, fulfilling the contract on your part.

Thinking that in this way you will receive what you want from the world.

Who are these persons to whom we usually obey: wife / husband, boss, parents / parents of wife / husband, grandmother / grandfather, esoteric guru, Vedic master, priest in the church, etc.

From these people, we take the codes of "how to live right." At the subconscious level, bearing in mind that LISTENING to this set and DESERVING EXECUTIVE BEHAVIOR, we will receive what we want from life.

But here's a bummer, we plow something…. but something serious large-scale desires are not fulfilled in any way. Our life does not become successful and happy.

After a while, disappointment comes in this particular person, which we unconsciously obeyed, and we change him - we divorce our husband, leave work, change the guru to a more advanced one. And again we are trying according to the same scenario: to learn the set of rules and by fulfilling it - to deserve a happy life.

Many people even turn to a psychologist with the question “what is the right thing to do” - to act, choose, live.

In fact, there is no set of rules in which it is individually written that it is "right" for a particular person to live like this.

The task of a psychologist is not to give a set of rules, not to teach how to live, but to help a person:

- Get away from the imposed frozen non-working models;

- Realize other people's rules by which you live and move on to creating your own rules, which are based on your desires and needs, abilities, personality traits;

- Open new forms of interaction with people to get what you want.

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Is it typical for you to expect from your boss, husband, other people: if you behaved “well”, then they should also behave with you in a certain way?

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I will summarize:

When excellent students learned to be correct in their school years, students learned to live flexibly.

Be clearly aware of your desires, interests, realize your true self, communicate and negotiate with others, find solutions in difficult situations, act according to different schemes.