GLOSSY DREAMS OF ETERNALLY THINNING WOMEN

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Draw me in armor

on a naked body,

as if instead of a dressing gown

I put on armor,

I put on my armor

like a bathrobe after a shower

And they are too small

And they choke me

V. Pavlova

To restrict the beauty and value of the body to something less than this splendor is to deprive the body of its legitimate spirit, legitimate appearance, legitimate delight. When you are considered ugly or worthless just because your beauty does not correspond to modern fashion, it deeply hurts the natural joy of belonging to the wild

K. P. Estes

The irregularities of irresistible and destructive gluttony that distort size and body image are real and tragic, but they are not a problem for most women. But for many women, the tragedy lies in wanting to be who they are not.

Who is superfluous here? We argue?

Women who come to me are often worried about their "excess" weight. A real body is declared "superfluous", which does not fit into the glossy and elusive ideal. Elusive from the fact that Nature did not design a woman to be a ballerina or a fashion model. A dispute with Nature is initially doomed to failure (oh, pug, know she is strong, barks at an elephant). Failure to recognize the limitations of one's capabilities is a source of constant tension and hard labor of a convict who is serving a sentence for the most serious crime - betrayal of her own Nature.

Murderer's Dictionary

The lexical dictionary of women dissatisfied with the physical aspects of their being is loaded with expressions: "cope", "force", "overcome", "overpower", "win". And all this in relation to yourself! The pantry of the murderer's words, there is no other way to relate to this. In this sense, trying to cope with the physical reality really ruins the soul.

Whirlpool psychologist

Some women who have gone through many programs and systems for weight loss come to a psychologist in different ways, "realizing" that the problem is psychological. But this "understanding" continues to serve the same obsession with losing weight. Summarizing everything that I have heard, we can formulate the motivation for contacting a psychologist as follows: "I understand that the reason is in me, I should figure out what inside me does not give me the opportunity to achieve the desired goal." Motivation, thus, remains unchanged, and psychology, with its methods and methods, should, in the opinion of women, serve the same goal - to lose weight. A new means (psychology) is chosen, but the goal remains the same, in which there is no room for setting the true goals of human existence. Meanwhile, the goal of psychology (which literally translates as the science of the soul) is not to completely ruin the soul, pursuing goals generated by deficit states, but to gain responsibility before the originality and uniqueness of its existence.

It's the buzzword victim

The problem is aggravated by the fact that the insufficient maturity of the theoretical apparatus and the insufficient reflection of the practical work with people of some psychologists, only leads to an increase in the problems of such women.

I was approached by women who underwent therapy with other specialists, the absolute uselessness, or even the harmfulness of which is confirmed by the uncorrected or even aggravated complaints of women: “I still punish myself with food, I know that my problem is that I am myself I hate and therefore eat, I am a victim, and it is difficult for me to get out of this position. " And more: "Well, you have to disrespect yourself (!) So as not to stop yourself", "I will respect myself and really love if I still lose weight." And this is said by women with a completely normal weight, far from any real problems. What kind of food punishments are we talking about!

All these popular clichés about "sacrifice", "punishment", etc., into which many psychologists squeeze everyone indiscriminately, are retold to me with a convinced look of an expert. The number of known theories (theories - too loudly said, fragmented opinions, more precisely) often exceed my knowledge. But when it comes to questions: "What do you know about yourself?", "Who are you?", "What are you doing?" (these are questions that should not be underestimated and wait for a quick answer to them, however, the degree of distance from them is indicative), a vacuum of understanding is formed. The maxims uttered by psychologists are uncritically assimilated by women and in no way bring them closer to a true understanding of themselves, turning all crossroads into dead ends. In this sense, women are really victims, victims of the impossibility of at least forming their own opinion about something and hearing the "Call of the Highest" behind the noise of the voices of vulgar psychologization.

Insanity

Some women talk about a special sense of pleasure that they experience if they manage to lose weight for a while, about feeling small and fragile. Using the metaphor of volume, it looks like, instead of striving for mental volume, which sometimes requires great effort and courage, a woman, using weight loss practices, seeks to repeat the outline of the soul, a small and fragile soul.

Victim-Heroine

In some cases, women are impressed by the replicated idea that their desire for food is due to the fact that there is a hungry child inside them, hungry for love and attention, and food becomes a substitute for warm human contacts that they did not receive in childhood. This is indeed the case, which in extreme cases can lead to a serious eating disorder. However, I'm not talking about severe eating disorders, or even binge eating attacks that happen from time to time. I'm talking about the need to satisfy hunger, about a normal need dictated by one of the oldest and strongest basic instincts (so that my body - "donkey" - was able to take me to the goal), which is stronger the more a person has held out from hand to mouth. And when the food enters the stomach, the executioner's "prohibition" becomes audible, requiring the victim to stop being a victim. Indeed, there is only one step from the funny to the tragic: the executioner (you can imagine him whatever you want and call him whatever you like: Super-Ego, Super-stupidity, Super-myopia) requires the victim not to be a victim, and to stop eating. At the same time, the victim does exist, but not the one that women talk about, but the victim of the fictional executioner-victim scheme, the victim who is caring, healthy and standing in a combat-ready position in this stupid and cruel fight against his own nature. This is a “sacrifice” that takes care of a woman, speaking in Tsvetaeva words, as God intended her, and was not fulfilled by her parents. And therefore, this is no sacrifice, but a heroine who understands - if you are meek, when you are oppressed (poorly fed), then as a reward you will be treated even worse (starved to death).

Battle for respect

When it comes to the respect for oneself that will appear as a result of gaining the desired physical form, it really raises the layer of the topic of respect, its meaning and human values. The answer to the woman's exclamation: "Well, you have to disrespect yourself (!) So as not to stop yourself" - "Well, you have to disrespect yourself in such a way in order to follow such a lifeless system of values."

The betrayal of her body causes great damage to a woman's creative life and her attention to other issues. Nature will never come to terms with the violence to which a woman subjects her body, just to prove that she is worth something, that she can restrain herself, that she has character, just to become more attractive, more appreciated in financial terms. Drying up, the woman tries to cheerfully shkandybat so that others can see: everything is OK with her.

Pedigree declared anathema

We all inherit our body type. Who or what causes a woman to disdain this legacy? Who can be SO important to me to break the bodily connection with my family? The destruction of the instinctive relationship of a woman with her body, more and more deprives of confidence.

If you do not deny joy to the body, which is given by nature, if you do not buy into the illusion that happiness comes only to women of certain forms, if you do not expect anything and do not give up anything, if you return to yourself and live a full life, everything will stop. into place.

What is a woman's body?

The body is like the earth. The body, like any natural landscape, is harmful to build up densely, divide it into segments, cut back, dig up, deprive it of strength. A self-sufficient woman is not easy to be confused. For for her, the question is not how to look, but how to feel. Any breast shape has a function: to feed and be sensitive. Does she give milk? Does it make you feel? So this is a good breast.

As K. P. Estes on women's hips. A real ode.

“The hips are wide because they harbor an ivory satin cradle to nurture new life. Women's hips are wide sides for what is above and below, they are a portal, fluffy pillows, arms of love, a refuge behind which children hide. Legs are meant to carry us, move us; they are the winches that help us to climb; they are anillo, a ring that hugs a loved one. They cannot be too much or too different. They are what they are ..

The question of primordiality is as follows: is the body sensitive, does it have a proper connection with pleasure, with the heart, with the soul, with the wild nature? Is happiness, joy available to him? Can it move, dance, bounce, swing, rotate by itself? If so, then nothing else is needed.

The body's task is to protect, contain, support and ignite the soul and spirit, to be a repository of memories, to fill with feeling - the most exquisite food for the soul. The body serves to uplift us and motivate us, fill us with feeling; to prove that we exist, that we are here; to give us a base, a mass, a weight. It is a delusion to think of the body as if it is a place that we leave in order to soar into the spiritual realms. The body is the vehicle for these experiences. If it were not for the body, there would be no sensation that we are crossing the threshold, the sensation of lifting, weightlessness.

Be yourself. All other seats are already taken

Overcoming weight concerns cannot circumvent the challenge of Being You. To be yourself means to be a stranger to others, it is this mental tension that is necessary to shape the soul and create change. Authenticity is "the freedom gained through the struggle with oneself in accepting one's own unique characteristics and a unique strategy for building one's own life." Women are not overweight, they suffer from a lack of "freedom" to "be themselves." V. Frankl wrote that the problem of the existential vacuum is an avalanche of alcoholism, drug addiction and suicide. Today, diets and other activities to combat unwanted body shapes can be added to this list.

Doggy style-)

We do not come into this world to live our life as puny creatures with a pitiful hairdo …

Striving for the ideal form is often associated with the fact that a woman feels the need to cringe, fawn, grovel, begging for life from men. The destiny of a woman is not to serve a man, not to flatter him, not hang around her neck in search of someone who will lead her. But also do not offend him, do not humiliate him, and do not regard him as an oppressor. Some women, tied with a "corset", a strong bridle and a tight muzzle, manage to realize their doggy style and slip out of the collar.

Embryology of fictitiousness

We can say whatever we want, paint the façade beaming with smiles, but when we see the stunning truth of the murder room, we can no longer pretend it doesn't exist.

Often, the desire to be slender and thin, in spite of their physical characteristics, forms a type of parental relationship to the girl, which can be called a conditional value relationship. This means that the girl only felt OK when she got a good grade at school, cleaned her room neatly, or behaved decently in front of guests. In such conditions, the girl begins to evaluate herself as a person only in terms of the value of those actions, feelings and thoughts that will receive approval. This leads to the formation of such a self-concept, which is in disagreement with organismic experience and does not serve for the development of a healthy personality. For the most part, a person's behavior is consistent with his self-concept. Thus, a woman seeks to maintain a state of self-perception and experience, which corresponds to "fit" into the accepted framework.

However, the parental family, in addition to setting the conditions of value for the girl, takes part in the formation of such a worldview, which, to some extent, is manifested in adherence to ideal standards.

In the families of many women, there is a high level of family envy, which arose in response to the fact that someone had a lot of money, opportunities, success, etc. In such families, worship of everything material dominated, while the spiritual component of human existence was fundamentally ignored …

The attitude towards other people in such families is often of a consumer nature: making the necessary connections and acquaintances is one of the important tasks. In general, the level of democracy in such families is quite low, they do not tolerate “otherness” here. They do not tolerate it to such an extent that the members of such a family are horrified not only by the information that the son of their former classmate is a homosexual, but even that the neighbor has let his hair go.

Other people in such families are often described, focusing on external attributes: fat, thin, short, in a red jacket, on a blue car. This style of describing people is characteristic of many of us, and the more we focus on something external, the less we are able to notice something individual in people and the more use these observations when describing people. The outer side of life takes up, the eye is sharpened only for what is under the "nose".

In such families, there is often a fairly high level of shame and guilt associated with basic biological processes (for example, urination, pregnancy, menstruation). In some cases, bodily manifestations that cause fear and shame in parents "stain", infect a growing girl who unconsciously seeks to pacify her body, including through weight loss. In my work, I had to deal with stories of weight loss, the source of which turned out to be fear of a mature woman who unconsciously associated with a disgusting excess of the flesh. A woman - as a primal matter - is forced to live for the sake of a frightened aestheticism and flee like the devil from incense from the ugly chthonic kingdom.

In general, the family's lifestyle is aimed at meeting the existing deficit or the demands of others. Members of such a family are not inspired, and happiness for them is to experience a sense of security and satisfaction. The threshold of self-actualization in such families cannot be crossed.

What is really worth fighting against:

With ignorance

With worship of false ideals

With greed

With envy

With jealousy

With laziness

With fear

With false authorities

What helps in the fight:

Inspiration

Understanding that ignorance is ultimately more expensive than the cost of parting with it

Searching for an answer to the question: "Who am I and what I am doing"

The ability to relate to events philosophically, to see various situations and yourself in them in a broader perspective, from the outside

Development of the ability to observe the world directly and attention to nature (observation of children, old people, men, women, animals, seasons, starry sky, sunset, water surface, etc., etc., etc.)

Stop worshiping the only kind of beauty

Expressive creativity

Finding a case about which you can say: "I made him mine"

Full-blooded participation in the lives of others

If your weight is far from being overweight, but there are "unnecessary" meals for your body, it is worth analyzing at what moment there was an impulse to eat. Perhaps it was the moment “what to do with yourself?”, Or an unpleasant memory or surging experiences.

Take the example of women who are neither overweight nor preoccupied with this issue. Walk more, visit theaters, museums and exhibitions. This is what fills the soul, not fills the void. Watch movies, read books, listen to music that will take your breath away. Stop consuming everything. This applies to all kinds of "food". Develop a good taste for food, conversation topics, literature, and pastimes.

Do not eat too quickly, get real pleasure from the process of eating, learn to respect this process and thank God for these gifts.

The real question is not whether you are a rose, a poppy flower, or just an unnamed herb flower. The reality is that a grass flower actualizes its potential as a poppy flower actualizes its potential. You should not listen to holy fashion trends, but the sanctity of your own body.