2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Self-worth alone.
Many of us suffer from loneliness, or to put it another way, have painful reflections from contact with other people. And there is nothing to add or subtract, it really is.
In my personal understanding, going into the pain of loneliness is a continuation path. You can go back where you came from, in avoidance, or you can go further into loneliness. In fact, in both cases, a person formally enters the desired state of knowing the value of oneself, self-worth, but in the case of returning back to avoiding people, this goal will be achieved perversely, violently and will not bring happiness. We all roughly understand how to freeze ourselves from people, but how to learn the intrinsic value of loneliness and not freeze up, this is a serious question.
How to pass the test of loneliness and go out to yourself? Although, in itself, a painful experience of loneliness, this is a kind of entrance exam, exciting, not everyone can pass it, this is how to enter Hogwarts - you need to be a wizard at heart, you need to believe in yourself. So, overcoming the illness of loneliness is closely related to giving up illusions, control, conditions and all the rest of the garbage of addiction. And this, as you know, is extremely difficult, sometimes impossible in principle. To overcome the disease, a real cognitive revolution must occur, enlightenment, growing up, enlightenment, etc., etc., must come to understand that being alone is not to be alone, without anyone, alone, abandoned, it is to be self-sufficient. For me personally, this is an incredibly difficult process, this "cognitive revolution", the process of a complete restructuring of the worldview and transformation of the personality to the level when you suddenly realize that in order to love someone it is not necessary to own it, moreover, this is when you suddenly you realize that to own, to have, to belong, these are generally impossible things. Simply put, this is the moment when a person lets his mother go, thanks her for everything she did and did not do for him, when a person pays tribute to his father for a lesson in life and goes to himself, goes into the world.
This is loneliness, of course, in my personal subjective understanding of the meaning of this word.
Loneliness is a state of getting rid of the problems of perceiving one's being through the prism of non-being. Loneliness is happiness to be yourself and to be able to rejoice for the independent, independent of you, being of another. And yes, it is incredibly difficult to reach this state of mind and soul. In Buddhism, this state is called enlightenment (well, as far as I understand it), when a person physically, psychologically, emotionally does nothing in order to subjugate his (read, someone else's) life. Once again I want to emphasize this important feature of living alone - not doing ANYTHING in order to be with someone, somehow, for some reason, and so on and so on. By the way, to be offended, angry, revenge, ignore is DOING SOMETHING, it is not doing anything. Yes, probably for a cognitive revolution, for enlightenment, sometimes you have to demolish the old system, destroy it, but, yes, in this new life, the old values are not in demand. Although, I believe that the destruction of the old system is just a manifestation of resistance to entering the new system, and not a desire to enter it. The loneliness I have described brings harmony to a person's life, allows him to be happy for no reason, without conditions and consequences, without fear of what was, is and will be. Perhaps the absence of fear of life is the hallmark of loneliness. The absence of fear is not about the aggressive living of life, not about expansion and expansion, not about expanding the worldview and gaining new experience, this is about peace in the soul. I don't even know what should happen in a person's soul, in his life, what should happen to him in order for this transition to take place into the calmness of self-expression, into this feeling of oneself. I do not know. But I know that this is definitely possible and that it is available to everyone.
By the way, there is another interesting understanding in this state of loneliness. A person suddenly realizes that there are distances between people, there are barriers, there is an impossibility of dialogue due to simply different existence. It is simply different and does not touch the being of another person. And that's okay.
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