2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
My mother always sang very well. No, she was not a professional singer, but she definitely had and still has a voice and ear.
When her friends, neighbors and (or) relatives gathered, everyone loved when she sings. She sang, and they sang along to her.
As far as I can remember, I also always, or almost always, loved to sing. But, I am me, and mom, this is mom.
My mother was condescending to my singing. But the closest neighbors, when we lived in a communal apartment, liked my concerts. I dressed up in some kind of rags and sang. And they applauded. I was happy.
And then we parted with these neighbors. And I began to sing only with my friends or alone when I was swinging on a swing near the house.
More precisely, there was another moment when I sang Anna German's songs to my mother's friends. I was then 12 or 13. I don’t remember how it happened that I began to sing to them, but the fact remains.
I sang "Echo of Love" and "Hope", maybe I sang something else, but I don't remember. And when I finished, my mother's friends said that Anna German, of course, sings better.
And then I felt so painful and insulting and so wanted to hide, that then for a long time I did not sing with anyone except my friends and my young people.
It was even difficult for me, just to hum a song a little, to people older than me or not very familiar.
It seemed to me that people would again say that I am bad at singing.
Years have passed … Much water has flowed under the bridge since then, including in the process of personal therapy and group therapy. I never raised requests for singing, but they somehow decided on their own.
And now looking back, I see the words from the song - "here from far away, much is lost from sight. Thunderclouds are melting. Insults seem ridiculous" … And I understand that they turned out to be prophetic for me.
After all, here and now, looking into that far away, and not many 35-36 years have passed, those thunderclouds really melted and I did not even notice when, and those grievances seem ridiculous.
Ridiculous because the singing of a 12-13-year-old girl, with all her might, cannot be compared with the singing of a woman who not only has a wonderful voice and hearing, but she also felt, due to her age and experience, everything she sings about. And this is not at all about the fact that I sang poorly then, but about the fact that they compared the incomparable.
Why am I all this? And besides, before comparing yourself with someone, see if it is possible, whether it is really necessary, to compare yourself with this particular person. After all, the comparison is not always in your favor, it means that something is wrong with you. Often, this only means that you are different (different) and your personality is, in fact, much more important than being like someone.
Be yourself, because it's much more interesting than being someone's bad copy.
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