2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You try to explain something to a person, tell it in detail, give examples, repeat it, chew it and so on many times. But he doesn't understand … Does it sound familiar? So why is this happening? Why do others understand not what we wanted to convey? Is it we say that it is not clear or the other person is not “mature enough”?
There are many more questions to ask on this topic. Let's try to look at it from a slightly different angle.
If you approach the conversation and explanation formally, then the understanding of us will be formal. If you try to prove something to another person from the position “I’m right, and you’re a fool,” then the response will be quite predictable. You can try to understand the feelings of the other person about what we say to him. He doesn't have to understand what you are trying to explain to him. And that's okay. You can try to find a different approach to him, like asking him to explain to you how he hears explanations better.
It will also be nice if you try to understand why you need to explain something to this particular person. And why does he need your information and your feelings. Do you just want to impose your opinion? Or do you want this person to do something? Or do you still want to reach mutual understanding and come to some kind of solution? If the latter, then try not only to speak, but also to listen to your interlocutor. I think this will help to reach a compromise.
Try to pay attention to what and how you say it. There is such a joke: "Not a fool, but an alternatively gifted one." And this is perceived in different ways. The same idea can be conveyed in different words. You can say, "You take my brain out." Or it can be done in another way: "I am now very tired (or tired), let me rest a little, about thirty minutes and then we can talk." The essence is the same, but the words are different, and, therefore, the reaction may also be different. If you say “you offend me” - it forces you to defend yourself, and the phrase “I am offended by these words” makes it clear to the other person what you are feeling, and does not make you feel guilty. It is better to try to speak in the first person and about yourself, and not about the actions or deeds of others.
It is always worth considering the fact that not all people want to understand you. Yes, sometimes it happens that another person just doesn't need it no matter how hard you try. And there can be an infinite number of reasons for this. If a person is afraid of heights, then no matter how much you persuade him to rise to the height, he is unlikely to do it. And it will be right in its own way. Why would he? In this case, you can only advise one thing - to accept your defeat. And this is not your fault. It's just a happened fact.
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