2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 22:18
If you look closely at the main characteristics of a codependent personality, you can find a typical pattern of behavior that is more typical for a child than for an adult. Below is a list of common characteristics of codependency. When reading this list, check the items that apply to you. Also note how many characteristics you associate with children two to three years old
If you are addicted, then you:
- unable to distinguish between your thoughts and feelings from the thoughts and feelings of others (you think and feel responsible for other people);
- seeking the attention and approval of others in order to feel good;
- Feel anxious or guilty when others “have problems”;
- do everything to please others, even when you don't feel like it;
- do not know what you want or need;
- leave it to others to determine your wants and needs;
- believe in what others know better than you, what is best for you;
- get angry or discouraged when things don't go the way you would like;
- concentrating all your energy on other people and their happiness;
- trying to prove to others that you are good enough to love you;
- do not believe that you can take care of yourself;
- believe that anyone can be trusted;
- idealize others and get discouraged when they do not live the way you hoped;
- whimpering or pouting to get what you want;
- feel that others do not appreciate or notice you;
- blame yourself when things go wrong;
- think that you are not good enough;
- you are afraid of being rejected (rejected) by others;
- live as if you are a victim of circumstances;
- are afraid to make mistakes;
- want to please others more and want them to love you more;
- trying not to make demands on others;
- afraid to express your true feelings for fear of rejection;
- letting others hurt you without trying to defend yourself;
- do not trust yourself and the decisions you make;
- have difficulty being alone with yourself;
- pretend that nothing bad is happening to you, even if it is not;
-
always find something to do to distract yourself from thoughts;
- do not want anything from anyone;
- you see everything either in black or white light - for you, either everything is good, or everything is bad;
- lie to protect or shield the people you love;
- Feel intense fear, resentment, or anger, but try not to show it;
- find it difficult to be intimate with others;
- find it difficult to spontaneously entertain and act;
- constantly feeling anxious, not knowing why;
- feel compelled to work, eat, drink or have sex even when it does not give you any pleasure;
- worried about being abandoned;
- you feel bogged down in a relationship;
- feel like you need to coerce, manipulate, ask, or bribe others to get what you want;
- cry to get what you want;
- feel that you are being guided by the feelings of others;
- afraid of your own anger;
- feel powerless to change your position or make changes in yourself;
- think that someone has to change in order for you to change.
Someone once said: you will learn that you are a dependent person when, dying, you find that not your own, but someone else's life flashes before you. The characteristics of codependency reflect an external view of life as an important channel.
Codependency in relationships occurs when two people, looking in each other for what they feel is not in themselves, come together to form one whole person. Each of them feels that they are not able to fully realize their potential without the help of the other. This is exactly what interferes with personal growth and development.
Over time, one of the two - the one who grows up - gets tired of a far from holy union and tries to change the state of affairs
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