14 Things That Kill Love

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Video: 14 Things That Kill Love

Video: 14 Things That Kill Love
Video: Who Sang It Better :BLACKPINK - Kill This Love (us,uk,vietnam,philippines,korea,japan,indonesia) 2024, March
14 Things That Kill Love
14 Things That Kill Love
Anonim

Can love be killed? 14 things that kill love

“The wind met the beautiful Flower and fell in love with it. While he gently caressed the Flower, he answered him with even more love, expressed in color and aroma. But it seemed to Wind that this was not enough, and he decided:

"If I give the Flower all my power and strength, then he will give me something even more."

And he breathed on the Flower with a powerful breath of his love. But the Flower could not bear it and broke.

The wind tried to lift him up and revive him, but could not. Then he quieted down and breathed on the Flower with a gentle breath of love, but he was fading before our eyes.

Then the Wind shouted:

- I gave you all the power of my love, and you broke! Apparently, you did not have the power of love for me, which means that you did not love! But the Flower said nothing. He died."

It is believed that love does not die. And if true love will endure everything. It's right. But many people confuse falling in love with love, not realizing that true and strong love has yet to come. And at the beginning of this journey, love is very fragile and easy to kill.

What is it that kills love?

1. Control - kills not only love, but all living things

Where control lives, there is no place for life. A controlling woman, without realizing, devalues a man. She is frightened by unbridled masculine strength, which she wants to take under control. By controlling, a woman unconsciously turns a man into a child, depriving him of her strength, while feeling tired and lonely.

If a man turns out to be a tough nut to crack, then the woman embarks on the path of dealing with him. She feels unnecessary to him and unloved, only because he refuses to obey. Struggle kills love. Control is the privilege of the male world. A controlling woman cannot be happy.

Control is born out of fear and self-doubt. With his appearance, trust disappears. Where there is no trust, there can be no love.

2. Lack of responsibility

Position - it's you who are to blame, love kills. If in every quarrel you look for a problem in yourself and ask the question, what is my contribution to this conflict, then you will nourish your love. If you always try to find someone to blame, then you are not only killing love, but also destroying yourself.

You need to understand that only you are responsible for everything that happens in the relationship.

Your chosen one is not accidental in life. Your inner world attracted him. It reflects yourself. You cannot always see it, because these parts of you tend to be deep in the unconscious. You have chosen your companion. In every quarrel there is a contribution from both. Don't look for a share of the other's fault, be responsible for your own.

3. Lack of respect and one's own boundaries kills love and leads to disrespect for oneself and others

If in a relationship you do not feel your personal space. You don't understand where you begin and where the other ends. Do not feel yourself and your desires, forget about goals, then you kill love.

If you perceive the other half as your property, this leads to big problems in the relationship. Failure to respect the boundaries of the personal space of another provokes that the husband considers it his right to read the message on the wife's phone. And the wife calmly crawls into her husband's pocket, as if into her own.

Boundaries and their observance are very important and one of the most important rules in a relationship. Respecting boundaries creates a certain distance where respect is born.

It should always be remembered that your family members are not your own part of the body, nor your arm or leg. They are completely different and different people from you, with their own desires, habits and inner world.

Respect is respecting the boundaries of your personal space. It includes everything - feelings, interests, work, things, and even pace. Each person has his own pace and speed. Quarrels often arise because of the different speed of life. Someone is fast, while others prefer not to rush.

Respect is the understanding that the partner is not your property and does not belong to you. Everyone has their own interests, desires and areas of their personal space, where the other does not always have a place.

4. Failure to ask leads to unjustified expectations, and then to resentment

Another person cannot understand, guess, and even more so know what you need. Even a good mother does not always understand the needs and wants of her baby. It is a special gift to be tuned in to the wave of another person. Unfortunately, few women have it. Well, there can be no question of men here, if he does not have 100% female energy. Feel free to ask a man for what you need.

5. Lack of patience and inability to wait - kill love

If you want something and think that it should be received or fulfilled at the same second, then you will destroy your relationship sooner or later.

Probably, you do not even assume that the other person needs time to process your request and assimilate the information received. “If you don’t do it now, then you don’t love. Why do you need time? If I loved. You need to understand that everyone has their own speed and pace, their own desires and ideas.

If you want something, this does not mean that the other is on your wave and wants the same.

A man may have his own ideas about the subject of your desire. Or he needs more time to accept your ideas. Be patient. If you cannot get what you want right away, give time to the space to tune in to you. Trust and trust him. Desire, accepting the likelihood that this desire will not come true.

6. Low self-esteem and self-doubt kill love

Due to the fact that there is no order in the inner world, there is no confidence in your value, you will constantly wait for proof of love and attention to yourself. You will react sharply to the fact that a man can be good in the company of other people. You will be very sensitive to his words.

Self-doubt gives rise to jealousy and anger. The need to be loved and needed becomes the main goal that kills love. Love does not need proof, it exists, and you feel it if your soul and heart are open. And if they are closed, then you cannot feel love, so you need sharpness, proof, anguish.

You will be interested in fights and showdowns - this is the only way to revive feelings. This helps to reanimate feelings, but it takes a lot of strength and energy, and you get tired of the changes.

Love is quiet, calm and serene.

7. Inability to take care of oneself and lack of self-love

It is impossible to love another without loving yourself. To love yourself is first of all to know yourself completely and to accept. Many people think that accepting yourself is not striving for change, stopping and not moving. Of course not. To move somewhere, you need to clearly understand where you are now. Any improvements and changes are possible after the reality is accepted. Accepting yourself is seeing yourself as you really are, and not as you are trying to be.

You cannot improve yourself without knowing your real self.

To love yourself is not to criticize yourself, not to evaluate, not to compare with others, not to condemn. As soon as you acquire these properties of the soul, then your attitude towards the chosen one will become less demanding, criticizing and condemning. Without accepting yourself, it is impossible to accept the other.

Often, simple female laziness is behind the inability to take care of oneself. When a woman starts to be lazy, stops investing time and money in herself, she stops building relationships. And love, like a drying flower in need of watering, dries up and leaves the relationship.

Only true love for oneself gives birth to true love.

8. Expectations kill love

All frustrations happen for one reason only. There are ideas and expectations in your head. You imagine how a man will behave, what he will say, what he will do. And if your expectations are not met, you immediately draw the wrong conclusions. Trust the space, everything will be the way it is best for you. By letting go of expectations, you get rid of frustrations and resentments. Don't paint the pictures the way they should.

9. Ideas of love - love kills

Many of us have our own ideas about love. And as a rule, this idea of love is perfect - everywhere and always together. For many, love is associated with pleasant experiences. And you probably think that love is a lifelong honeymoon.

Any relationship begins with a desire for close intimacy. People spend a lot of time together. And it seems to them that when this period passes, it means that love has passed, and from that moment love is just being born. Until that moment, there was falling in love - the first step to love.

The resulting distance in relationships gives you the opportunity to find yourself in them. You cannot live the way you did before the man came into life. Your task during this period is to find that golden mean when you are together, but do not lose yourself. Your future destiny depends on the solution of this problem. Will you follow the path of love or, having killed this love, will you look for another.

10. Inability to communicate openly and directly - creates a huge barrier in love and emotional communication

Very often women, not feeling confident in themselves and fearing rejection, do not know how to speak directly about their feelings and desires. They prefer to express themselves in hints. And if they gain the determination and courage to speak directly, then they chop what is called from the shoulder, frightening the man at the same time.

Many women think:

"What to explain to him - he still won't understand …"

“And what is not clear what I am offended? It is obvious!"

"I've already hinted to him about this 100 times …"

Men do not understand hints. And the most interesting thing is when I ask, how would a woman want? She herself does not know how.

A woman endows a man with magical qualities, in her mind he must be able to read her mind, or even better, do it faster than she has time to think. Not a single person has such a device. You need to be able to talk about your feelings and desires. Learn to speak directly and openly.

11. Lack of self-respect

In any communication between a man and a woman, there should be a line in communication that is clear to both, beyond which one should not step over.

Insults, humiliation - kill love. Love endures quarrels, through them people come to compromises, but it does not tolerate insults and offensive, degrading phrases.

If in a sincere conversation your chosen one opened his soul, and then in a quarrel you beat him with revelations told to him, then this kills love. The soul is closed and most often forever. No matter how angry you are, feel the boundary that you don't need to step over. Refrain from harsh words. Better to calm down alone, and then state your point of view. Remember, love, despite its strength, is very fragile. And she can't stand being disrespectful to herself.

12. Fear of showing negative sides at the beginning of a relationship can kill future love

Trying to show your best sides, you yourself "dig a hole."

If you are planning a serious and long-term relationship with a person, then it is better not to embellish yourself. Because for a long time "you can't stand on tiptoe," sooner or later you will have to go down on your whole foot.

When you get down to your full foot, your partner begins to feel cheated. By showing one side of yourself, you deprive your chosen one of seeing you in real light. You deprive him of the opportunity to truly love you. There is no need to go too far, trying to show all the negative from the youthful protest "accept me as I am."

Be natural. Without embellishing your shortcomings, and without belittling your merits.

13. And the most important thing that kills love is fear

The fear of loneliness leads to the fact that you will be afraid of losing a man, which means you will not be able to be yourself.

Fear of betrayal and betrayal will lead to excessive control, which will be perceived by the partner as pressure. Remember - fears give rise to the path to action of other people. The law of the Universe - that which we are afraid of and from which we run away, will come into our lives.

Work on yourself. Let go of your fears.

14. Great affection for a man, the dependence of your happiness on the presence of a man in your life, the desire to dissolve in a man - love kills

Everything that we attach great importance to will be destroyed in our life.

If you attach too much importance to a man, then you will not have a worthy partner with whom you can be in a long and happy relationship.

Take away the importance of the man. Get rid of emotional dependence on your partner. Become happy yourself. You must understand that no one can kill your love except yourself.

"Love does not die if it is not killed." And it is true. Discover the light of true unconditional love within yourself. Love first of all for oneself, built on respect and acceptance.

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