2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
All people! Absolutely everyone became participants in the communication ignore.
Why do we ignore people? What is the reason that we are being ignored? What if you become a victim of an ignore?
If you think this article is about making you fall in love with ignore, then don't waste your time reading.
To begin with, let's figure out what types of ignore there are.
Silence.
A kind of open ignore. Actually, the man just fell silent. Doesn't answer SMS / messenger / calls / got up silently left. Sometimes, this kind is accompanied by such a communicative action as rare monosyllabic answers.
Boycott.
Termination of communication with a specific person in protest. "I will not talk to you because you are behaving inappropriately," the mother says to the child. Or even completely, without explaining the reason, he falls silent, in the hope that the child himself will think, understand and take some steps. This example is also true in the adolescent's attitude to his parents and in marital relations, etc.
Avoidance.
Actions aimed at evading communication situations. For example, a person experiences disgust, discomfort, fear, etc. in relation to a specific person. These feelings become a motive to minimize the possibility of communication contact.
Disclaimer.
Diminishing or denying the personality of the Other and its intrinsic value. Those. a person secretly or openly demonstrates his arrogance and disinterest in talking with the Other because he does not deserve to communicate with him. This includes, for example, irony. You are enthusiastically telling the person something, and he demonstratively shows his involvement in viewing messages on the phone.
Illocutionary blockade.
A way to neutralize the speech activity of the interlocutor by silencing him. “Sha! I said! "," Shut up! " etc.
Communicative sabotage.
A type of hidden ignore. Ignoring the content of the interlocutor's speech in order to evade communication, distort or hide information. In other words: move away from the topic, distort the words and even the meanings of the interlocutor's speech for their own purposes.
Also indirectly and situationally, double binds in communication can also be referred to here. This is when verbally spoken speech with one meaning, and verbally (at the level of gestures and facial expressions) - the opposite information. I will tell you more about this topic in another article.
Ignore performs the following functions:
Defense mechanism (both at conscious and unconscious levels). As an example - avoidance tactics, the essence and motives of which are described above.
Manipulation
A person consciously resorts to ignoring as a form of action in order to achieve what he wants. As an example, the so-called “cold-hot” pick-up technique. At first, for a while, a person surrounds with attention and care. Over time, this behavior is replaced by an absolute or partial (monosyllabic answers and stingy excuses) ignore. After that, a sudden phase of "warmth" begins as if nothing had happened. This is done in order to arouse interest in oneself. Such practices can be called both manipulative and violent.
Violence (personal gardening). This includes the disclosure tactics described earlier. Ignoring the presence of a person, for example. When they talk about a person present, they speak emphatically in the 3rd person or even behave as if they do not notice this person.
A mother who pretends not to hear the requests / persuasion / cry of the child, etc.
Those. ignore can be both a salvation and a rational step, in the case of protection, and a type of aggression towards the Other. With loved ones, it is better not to use such tactics. Try to solve a painful issue through conversation.
If you are ignored (in any of the forms listed earlier), then most likely, they either want to manipulatively achieve something from you, or they are simply trying to say in this way that you are not needed.
“I don’t need you.
- You are not interesting to me.
- I am afraid of you.
All these are examples of words that are terrible for a person. Nobody wants to be unnecessary for a significant person. But isn't self-esteem important to you? Do you value yourself less than others? To look for opportunities to talk to a person who avoids you, to write 181 messages after a dropped 115 call is to humiliate yourself. Let the Other be the puppeteer. Put yourself in the role of a doll.
Or another situation when a person is simply afraid of you already. Perhaps your perseverance and lack of empathy turns you from a proactive person into a banal emotional rapist “I will get her love anyway! Why shouldn't it be worth it!”?
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