2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Greetings, my dear readers!
Very often, in recommendations for parents on how to improve relationships with a teenage child, it sounds:
-The child must be loved, love your child.
This, of course, is all correct. But it's no secret that loving is not easy at all. Sometimes it is impossible to love a small child, but a teenager is even harder. And what is included in this concept? The idea of love is different for everyone.
When you ask your parents: "Do you love your child?"
The majority answers: "Of course we love him. We feed him, dress him, put on shoes, make sure that he is always clean and tidy. He / she is no worse for us than other children."
photo from open sources
What do children answer to the question: "Do they feel loved?"
“I don’t know. They never told me about it. They constantly scold me, demand some work, and I really cannot do it. My parents are busy all the time. They don’t care about me.” The list is endless.
As you can see, children do not feel loved only from the fact that their parents feed them, dress them, put on shoes and …. For them, this is of no value, since it is the responsibility of the parents. Of course, we can say that this is also a kind of manifestation of love.
The child needs another love. He needs to feel loved.
If we turn to the feelings of the parents, then it happens that the parents do not feel that unconditional love for their child, but the child is not to blame for this. So why not learn to express it in a way that makes your child feel loved.
How to love a teenage child so that he / she feels needed and loved?
- Every day say that you love him, that he is dear to you, that you are happy that you have him.
-Body contact is very important, so hug it. Often children will resist when touched, but you can, for example, hug him before leaving for school and wish him a pleasant day.
- Learn to talk. Not to shout, not to teach, not to accuse, but to speak. This is the only way to establish contact.
These recommendations may seem simple, but, in reality, it is very difficult to follow them, as parents begin to realize that there is a problem when the situation becomes very neglected. Trust has already been lost, it takes time, patience and work to regain it. And also the help of a specialist.
To be continued…
© Sincerely, psychologist Zinaida Chistikova, 2021. All rights reserved. You can sign up for a consultation here or by writing a message in WhatsApp, Telegram +79322543503. I work carefully, confidentially and environmentally.
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