I Love You Absolutely

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The need for love is one of the fundamental human needs. Her satisfaction is a necessary condition for the normal development of the child. This practice exercise for developing and realizing unconditional love will help you accept your child as he is

You can often hear from parents such an appeal to their son or daughter: "If you are a good boy (girl), then I will love you." Or: "Do not expect good things from me until you stop … (fight, be lazy, ruin), do not start … (study well, help around the house, obey)."

Let's take a closer look: in these phrases, the child is directly told that he is being accepted conditionallythat they love him (or will love him), "only if…" … A conditional, evaluative attitude towards a person is generally characteristic of our culture. This attitude is being introduced into the minds of children.

The reason for the widespread evaluative attitude towards children lies in the firm belief that rewards and punishments are the main educational tools. Praise the child - and he will be strengthened in goodness, punish him - and evil will recede. But the trouble is: they are not always reliable, these funds. Who does not know this pattern: the more a child is scolded, the worse he becomes. Why is this happening? But because raising a child is not at all training. Parents do not exist in order to develop conditioned reflexes in children.

I offer you the exercise "Unconditional Love" for independent use

So, sit comfortably. Take a few deep breaths in and out.

Imagine one by one all the people who matter to you - parents, husband, children. Tell each of them? “I love you unconditionally. I accept you for who you are."

Find among the people who are significant to you those to whom you cannot say this, whom you cannot accept and love unconditionally.

Try to understand:

• What exactly is stopping you from doing this?
• What are your requirements for him?
• Under what conditions could you say to him: "I love you, I accept you as you are."

Now try to put yourself in this person's shoes. Try to understand why he criticizes you or treats you badly? What happens in this person's life when he communicates with you? Does he feel the conditions and requirements that you set him?

Answer your questions:

How did you react to this exercise?

How many people have you found that you cannot love unconditionally?

Do you have a sense of protest against the very principle of unconditional love and support for everyone?

How you can show unconditional acceptance to your child and other loved ones:

1. Friendly glances.
2. With gentle touches.
3. In direct words:

• I'm glad to see you.
• I like you.
• I love it when we are together.
• I feel good when we are together.
• It's so good that I have you.

Hug a child several times a day (4 hugs are absolutely necessary for everyone just for survival, and for good health, at least 8 hugs are needed, and this is not only for a child, but also for an adult).

Remember:

1. You can express your dissatisfaction with individual actions of the child, but not with the child as a whole.
2. You can condemn the child's actions, but not his feelings, no matter how undesirable or “inappropriate” they may be. Since they have arisen for him, it means that there are grounds for this.
3. Dissatisfaction with the child's actions should not be systematic, otherwise it will grow into rejection of him.

To accept a child unconditionally means to love him not because he is handsome, smart, capable, excellent student, assistant, etc., but simply because he is.

And this will save him from many life dramas and make his childhood happy.