2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05
The psychology of confident and insecure behavior
1. Characteristics of confident behavior
The behavior is characterized by non-verbal manifestations:
1) facial expressions, gestures (intensity, harmony, closeness, openness);
2) eye contact;
3) posture (straight, stooped);
4) characteristics of speech (tempo, intonation, loudness, expressiveness).
In the field of discussion and consideration, I would also like to add the words "self-confident", "doubting", "something (not) sure." "Socially flexible". There are also a number of adjectives describing the facets of confident / insecure behavior - "boorish", "arrogant", "soft", "loyal", "tolerant", "purposeful", "passive", "active", "proactive", "proactive" etc.
With all of the above, I wanted to illustrate not the black and white paradigm sure / not sure, but the color palette of this theme.
2. The reasons for the emergence of self-doubt:
Albert Bandura
In accordance with the theory of Albert Bandura, a new repertoire of aggressive, confident or insecure behavior arises as a result of imitation - the child's copying of those stereotypes that he observes around him. Parents, relatives, friends serve as "models" for copying. As a result, a confident, aggressive or insecure personality appears as a kind of "cast" of patterns of behavior that dominate in the environment surrounding the child.
Joseph Wolpe
Fear and the behavior associated with it are learned, automated, maintained and reproduced, spreading to adjacent social situations. The main fears are criticism, being rejected, being the center of attention, being seen as inferior; bosses, new situations, make claims or fail to refuse a demand, fail to say "no".
Martin Seligman
The formation of a child's personality is influenced not only by the “models” that serve to copy, but also by the reaction of parents, and more broadly, by the entire surrounding social environment, to a particular behavior of the child. This feedback allows (or does not allow) the child to correlate different stereotypes of social behavior with different reactions of the social environment. Depending on the quality of the feedback, the child may feel "learned helplessness." For example, if the child either does not receive any response to his actions at all (a situation, for example, of an orphanage, where the attention of educators is distributed to a large number of children); or receives monotonous negative ("they will punish anyway") or monotonous positive ("mama's son") feedback. Here, a lack of faith in the effectiveness of one's own actions can form and, as a result, low self-esteem.
3. Help of a psychologist in developing self-confidence:
Social success, in my opinion, is achieved not by the person who is selflessly self-confident, but socially flexible. Who understands where and what kind of behavior can and should be demonstrated. It is in the development of this kind of understanding that I see my role. When clients come to me with the topic of self-doubt, I try to determine in dialogue with them which facets of confidence we will strengthen. What is the client's “ideal” of self-confidence, what kind of behavior and in what situations is it manifested now.
Psychodrama, as a method of action, allows you not only to discuss situations that cause discomfort, client complaints, but to see them live, in roles, "here and now."
The client has the opportunity to be, to live in different roles:
- oneself in various life situations, manifestations, age and "I-states" (shame, fear, sadness), introets (thoughts of other people's feelings, perceived as their own);
- their opponents, the audience watching his performance, the girl with whom you want to meet;
- in different time (present, past, future) and space (fictional and present);
This allows you to try (train) new models of behavior, realize the root causes of your insecurity and get out of the usual cultural canned food, add spontaneity to your life.
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