2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Let's look at the topic of self-love in the context of slices of the lives of 3 women. The first is Maria Ivanovna. A woman of the old Soviet school and philosophy. She works as the head of a kindergarten in the Russian region, although she should have been retired by age for a long time.
Being slightly (well, almost slightly) overweight and complex varicose veins of the legs, works in the sweat of his brow from morning to night. The operation to do everything for her does not add up, for some reason. Or rather, one at a time, quite understandable to almost any Russian woman.
Here it is, this reason. Her daughter, about 30 years old, lives, for example, in Novosibirsk, with her husband and child in an apartment bought on credit. And it is for this apartment, and also the car and in addition - the furniture helps her pay off Maria Ivanovna, depriving herself of the operation and the well-deserved rest.
So, for a Russian resident, it is normal not only to help adult children, but to help adult children and possibly someone else IN DAMAGE TO YOURSELF !!! Maria Ivanovna's self-love, apparently, is expressed in following her ideals of SELF-SACRIFICE. And if you ask her about self-love, she will look at you irritably and say: "What self-love? Am I selfish or something?"
Moreover, she herself is married, but she comes home from work in the evening and falls off her feet, barely having time to cook beef broth with potatoes or borscht in a saucepan. Then, tired, she will feed her husband, serving him a plate of supper and tea. A heart-to-heart conversation will not work, there is no strength. And he will go to bed as soon as possible, as his legs hurt, and tomorrow he will get up early for work in the morning.
Is she happy with her husband? Are you healthy? What is she dreaming about? How does her inner girl feel? A-o-o-o-o …
The second woman lives in Kazakhstan, in the former capital of Almaty. Her name is Sholpan (Morning Star). She calls herself Sholpan, without a middle name. Since she has not worked for a long time and lives at the expense of rent from one apartment and at the expense of rent from settlers in her other apartment, where she lives with her children.
She is 40 years old. Her children are a 15-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. She is not married. Widow. That is why he is trying to feed himself and his children for money from rent. So, the very essence of the question. Sholpan is not going to get married anymore, otherwise the relatives of her deceased husband will treat her badly, JUDGE her and stop helping her children.
She does not marry, avoids all kinds of acquaintances and does not allow thoughts of meeting another man. Consciously, anyway. When you ask her why she doesn't arrange her love life, how can she take care of herself? And she will answer you this: "I live for the sake of the children! Now my daughter will marry and leave. But sy-y-yn! …," she will say meaningfully, "when my son gets married, I will live with him. I will, of course, as it is customary for us, the Kazakhs, to be the head of the family. That is, my son obeys me in everything. Mother is sacred to him. That's when all the efforts put in will return to me. " All the victims, that is …
Only it is no longer clear whose victims they are. Now her, Sholpan, and then it looks like her son will sacrifice her relations with his wife, her interests and values will be her son, since everything has already been decided for him: his philosophy and the meaning of life have already been voiced. This is MOTHER! There seems to be little space for my wife. Or rather, it seems to be not at all. She was not even mentioned in this Sholpan family fantasy …
Here it is what a deep subtext was hidden in Sholpan's love for children … And she, like Maria Ivanovna, believes: it is impossible and dishonorable to love yourself when you have children! And it does not correspond to the laws of the Almighty. By the way, they are religious women. Although both became believers not so long ago, after the collapse of the USSR.
Finally, consider the life of Monica, an Italian. She is 50 years old. She is happily married and has 3 children and grandchildren. All live separately. Her children and grandchildren come to Monica strictly on the scheduled days. Monica has a weekly schedule. Monday - beauty salon, Tuesday - fitness, Wednesday - meeting with girlfriends in a cafe, on Thursday - a romantic dinner with your beloved husband, Friday…. Etc. Monica's children are aware that you cannot come to mom at any time and leave her grandchildren to sit with them like a beloved grandmother. So grandmother's days are painted with her favorite things, which are sacred for her …
Monica travels a lot and has sex with her husband. Perhaps, too many (unlike Maria Ivanovna, in any case). She loves to spend evenings by the sea, looking at its smooth, and at the same time, energetic waves, like her life. She considers herself a woman in the dawn of strength. She really doesn't feel tired or sick. After all, she is regularly checked by a doctor to prevent her precious health. Once a week or two, her children and their families come to visit her on weekends. Everyone is preparing a festive dinner, laughing and chatting about business.
Let's ask Monica about self-love. "What? Self-love? This is the most important thing for me. My children have grown up. My husband wants me to be beautiful. I want to be healthy. I have everything. So what's the matter? I am a woman and should be beautiful!" How could it be otherwise? " - she will be surprised.
Maybe Monica, maybe …
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