Bad Games Wives Play

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

In this article, I describe 6 of the most common games wives play that can destroy a family. Why do wives play these games, and what consequences can they expect?

Game "Mommy". This game is the most common among wives.

Examples: "Did you forget to take the money?" that you need to wash the plate after yourself? " etc.

In this game, wives treat their spouses like children, except that they can take care of themselves. Women act as if men themselves cannot do anything and need valuable guidance for action. It is believed that men are forgetful and consider it their duty to remind about what, supposedly, they could have forgotten. Take responsibility for what husbands might not do as well as they would. They grumble at them. Correct and guide them.

Why do wives do this? Women behave like mothers towards men because they want to earn their love. Since childhood, the girl watched her mother take care of her father, her brothers and sisters, giving all of herself and meeting the needs of the household. If the mother behaved towards her spouse as a mother, the girl's habit became even stronger and she believed that this was how she should behave with men. Moreover, it was fixed in her that this very behavior is the only way to relate to a man. On the one hand, men love to be cared for, they are used to receiving maternal custody and feel loved. If a man received less love and care in childhood, he will gladly allow you to treat him like a son in order to “get” this love already in your relationship. What is the flip side of such a relationship?

Consequences: the basic psychological need of every man is, sooner or later, to separate from his mother. At first, the man will like the motherly care, but over time it will irritate him, and he will strive to break off the relationship. The “mother and son” attitude in a relationship kills passion in a relationship. Treating a man like a son, a woman ceases to perceive him as a man, and as a result, he ceases to excite her. There is a subconscious prohibition on the part of a man to sleep with his mother, and, of course, the time will come when he wants to stop doing it.

The game "Mommy" has a variation, this game is called "Myself". This game is played by strong, independent women who vehemently demonstrate their strength in relationships and pull the strap on themselves. A man next to a strong woman may get tired of being inadequate, incompetent, and perhaps he will even begin to feel that way. This will lead him to low self-esteem, and as a result, he will become less in love with his partner. In such a marriage, a man will not be able to feel like a man in order to show his qualities and responsibility.

2. The game "Hunted Housewife" is similar to the game "Mommy"

This game is for those who take on a lot. The difference from the game “Mommy” is not a demonstration of one's strength, control, power, or, conversely, caring for a man, but a state that can be described as “I'm tired”. Housewives, driven by their chores, participate in this game. It is very simple to describe this game: a woman grabs onto everything and offers her services to the detriment of her needs and strengths. Only it does not bring pleasure from the work done. Having loaded herself with chores, the “driven housewife” does not know what to grab onto, where to start, because the roles that she must simultaneously (the key word) must fulfill are sometimes contradictory and difficult: Mother, Wife, Cook, Maid, Nanny, Mistress, Interesting interlocutor, Mistress of the house, Toastmaster … (perhaps someone will have other options).

Why do wives do this? Since childhood, the girl watched her mother, without sitting down for a day, redo many things every minute and hourly. For her, it symbolized care and love for a man. Mother taught her to take care of the man at the expense of herself. The woman's uncertainty and her sacrifice give rise to the idea that "you can love me only if the house is clean, everything is prepared, cleaned, washed, the guests are happy … this is the only way I deserve love." The result is the opposite - a man ceases to respect his woman, because from a woman she turns into a housewife in a dressing gown.

Aftermath: performing all these roles at the same time, a woman runs the risk of facing misunderstanding of her man, with his disrespect, on the part of the woman, lack of attention to him (no matter how paradoxical it may sound), neglect of children, and neglect in relation to herself. The marriage of such a woman can be threatened. Performing all these roles at the same time, a woman runs the risk of facing misunderstanding of her man, with his disrespect, on the part of the woman, lack of attention to him (no matter how paradoxical it may sound), neglect of children, and neglect in relation to yourself. The marriage of such a woman may be in jeopardy.

3. The game "Little girl". Women who play this game with their men, call their men "daddies", allow them to manage the family budget, content with the pocket expenses that the man gives them. Women show misunderstanding and behave naively when they perfectly understand what is happening. They portray resentment by pouting their lips instead of admitting that they are unhappy or angry. Women pretend to be confused at a time when they do not feel this feeling at all and talk to their men in a thin voice, like little girls. They create problems in order for a man to solve them, they constantly need their help in order to get something from a man (money, attention, care, etc.). On the one hand, such women attract men with their charm and defenselessness. Next to them, a man begins to feel more significant, experienced, knowledgeable. This technique artificially increases a man's self-esteem, he begins to feel superiority over his woman, this creates the illusion of comfort in a relationship.

Why do wives do this? From childhood, the girl was taught that to show feelings of anger, anger is wrong, ugly, and she learned to suppress them … replacing them with feelings of helplessness, resentment, fear, guilt. There was no prohibition on expressing these feelings in her parental family, and therefore she brought them into life with her man. It is much safer to show these feelings than to be angry or express anger (especially in those relationships and situations when you need to declare yourself or have already broken up). The girl knows that resentment is much more pleasant for men than anger. The position of a "little girl" relieves the woman of responsibility for her part of the relationship, the woman hopes that her chosen one will come and save her from all the troubles and problems that "suddenly" befell her. The more a man treats his wife as a little girl, the longer this woman remains this girl.

Consequences: There is nothing wrong with rarely showing weakness and helplessness, so that a man takes responsibility for a relationship or specific actions. But do not seek to resort to such a position often. The position of a little girl for a man will never arouse respect for a woman. Over time, a man will stop treating his woman as a woman, and more and more there will be a little girl in front of him, in need of care and solving her problems. It kills passion and true love.

4. Game "I will not give". A game for those who like to manipulate. The varieties of "I will not give" can be different - I will not give sex, I will not give soup, I will not give attention, I will not give hugs and kisses … A man should feel the love and care of his woman. Resenting a man, a woman begins to resort to various tricks. Stop cooking for him, or deny intimacy. Let's dwell on the latter in more detail. A man feels rejected when his lover denies him intimacy. Sex is an important form for a man to express himself and express his emotions. Rejection affects a man in the most negative way: he experiences depression and humiliation.

Why do wives do this? Sex is practically the only sphere of relationships where a woman can feel her strength, begin to manipulate a man. Did you earn little? Didn't you pay enough attention? Bought the wrong gift? Left without flowers? The woman's expectations are not met, and she begins to "punish" her man in ways that are within her control.

Consequences: a man does not hear “I have a headache or I’m tired”, he hears: “You don’t excite me, I don’t love you, you are bad, you are not wanted…”. Not every partner will be able to express resentment to his woman at your refusal (to caress, feed, take care) and will look for interest on the side, which can subsequently destroy the relationship.

5. The game "Fool". A game for those who do not respect their partner.

Examples: "What are you looking at at all?", "Well, not a fool, eh ?!"

Why do wives do this? In childhood, the girl could look at her mother, who did not respect and did not accept her husband, in every possible way belittled, humiliated and insulted him (because of her self-doubt). For a girl who was raised in such a family, this was the only example of how a man should be treated.

Consequences: Playing the Fool game can ruin a relationship. Not a single relationship has long held on to humiliation from one or both partners. A man's self-esteem will be destroyed, he will love his woman less. And then he will completely go to another, who will cherish and admire him.

6. The game "Silent". A game for those who think that the spouse has telepathic abilities. This game, like the game "I will not give", also has a manipulative component. The wife was offended and has not spoken to her husband for several hours. She wants to show him that he was wrong in something, did not guess her desires, moods, etc. There are many examples of “guess it yourself”.

Why do wives do this? The first reason for silence is to punish in order to improve, buy, change behavior, pay attention … Parents in childhood did not teach their daughter to express emotions, discontent and talk about their feelings, to express needs. The second reason is to show your power over a man, to achieve your goal when other methods of behavior do not help. The wife screamed, broke the dishes, was irritated. Did not help. Then she fell silent. For some men, the silence of their woman is unbearable and unbearable … and she got everything she wanted. The wife believes that the husband must figure out for himself why she is silent and what needs to be done to fix it.

Consequences: without speaking directly about her needs, keeping silent about unresolved moments and even extinguishing unpleasant emotions in conflicts, a woman puts her relationship on the path of death. Trust, understanding and acceptance are lost from this relationship. Over time, a man will feel manipulated and will also stop trusting and loving his woman.

Did you recognize yourself in these games? Here are some exercises that will help you stop playing harmful games and build a more mature, fulfilling, and happier relationship with your man

1. Analyze your relationship with a man. What games you play? How often? What did you take from your parental family and bring to your relationship with your spouse?
2. Write down all the games you use in your relationship with a man. Make a list: exactly how you play. Write down what exactly is your role in relation to a man? Add more items to this list, observing yourself for a week. Set aside enough time for one game to get a feel for the emotions it evokes in you.
3. Pay attention to your man. How does he react to your games? How does his mood and condition change? How does this affect your relationship later?
4. After you have analyzed your relationship with games enough, you can begin to change your behavior. If you are playing the role of "mommy", start treating your man as a competent person, have patience when, without your help, he will take responsibility for his deeds, actions and behavior and stop doing for a man what he should do himself. After all, you married a grown man, not a boy who needs a mother. If you play the role of a “driven housewife”, learn to value time for yourself and stop feeling guilty about it, distribute responsibilities between household members. If you are playing the role of a “little girl,” ask yourself if something makes you angry when you feel like crying, and if you are upset about something, are you really upset, or is it about something else in your life. If you really want to deny a man something in the game "I will not give", do it as respectfully as possible towards him. And be sure to say that you love him, caress him in some other way and forget about manipulation. Acting in this way, you yourself will have a desire to do what you did not want at first. Cross out the game "Fool" immediately from the list of games! There are no indulgences and excuses in it. Learn to treat your man with respect and do not let humiliation in your address. If you play the game "Silent", learn to express your feelings and needs in order to convey them to your man without resentment and silence. And you will see how he will be grateful to you for it!

Good luck on your journey to a mature and happy relationship!