2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Confessions of a geisha
I gave my client a homework assignment: write a metaphor for my request-situation-state.
And here she sits in front of me and begins the story (the girl's consent to the publication is given):
“For some reason I imagined my situation in comparison with my house, my favorite well-kept apartment. In which I invested money, my love and soul. I furnished it with such love, as if it were my fortress, my quiet haven, my outlet. Where I could rest, recover and gain strength I love my home.
I only admit a select few. These are the people who are dear to me, whom I trust, whom I love. And I believe that they love me too. When these people are in my house, I am charged with positive from them and my life becomes rich, joyful and full. It is thanks to these people who are not accidental in my difficult life. These people know me well enough. No, they don't know everything about me. This is my territory. Although, for example, my parents remember what a bully I was as a child. And my school girlfriends, what I was the start at school. My university friends know about my crazy love….
Although not a single person from my present has ever entered my beloved monastery. The people I work with side by side are just as odd as I am. And, even more so, those with whom I work. This is understandable. My clients are so far removed from my chosen ones. They stand exactly on the opposite bank of my quiet harbor …. and they pose a threat to me. This is how I perceive them.
Therefore, they will never cross the threshold of my house. This is excluded a priori! Because at home I am alone for my own people, and there, in this strange job, I am different.
And I'm already confused where I am real. Therefore, I went to a psychologist for help.
When you gave me this task "to compare your life metaphorically", I wanted to compare it with what is especially dear to me, with my house.
Where are the parallels, you ask? I'll explain now. You see, I presented my body as my home. And suddenly I realized that I was not in control of my body. It doesn't seem to belong to me anymore. And I am losing myself more and more …. And I have to do something about it.
What good is it that I have my fortress when my body is controlled by anyone. Yes, I realized that this is my personal choice. It happened. Therefore, I perceive myself as a dirty littered territory. My body belongs to anyone for an hour or two … a day … a month … a year. In exchange for money. I've heard that money has energy. But, as I was convinced, this energy is extremely insufficient to replenish what I give in my work, I distribute to the left and to the right. This is not an equal exchange.
It turns out that I let anyone into my house. As if I don't care. It’s like I don’t love myself.
I realized that I had traded my intrinsic value for some banknotes. It seems to be my personal choice. Then why am I so shitty?"
She paused and looked at me questioningly.
I asked her the classic question: "What do you think yourself? In principle, the answer was in your story. Find it."
You know, I will not describe further dialogue. I want you, my readers, to find this answer yourself in the client's story.
However, at the request of the girl, what should she do now, I again asked the classic question: "What would you advise your friend or sister … if she were in your place?"
Why do you think I asked the client this question?
Psychotherapy is not over yet. I have an assumption that the girl will cope and will be able to change priorities. This became especially clear after the presentation of the metaphor. I saw in the metaphor the designated problem, cause-and-effect relationships, sufficient awareness of my desires. Will she be able to turn the situation in the opposite direction and start working with guilt in herself?
We will see. At least, nobody canceled the formula "I want, I can, I can!"
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