2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
One of the main ways for a victim to change status is to seek help. Accordingly, the aggressors do everything to prevent this. In addition to the well-known breakdown of social ties and isolation, an important role in the process of cutting off possible channels of help is the awakening in the victim of shame and guilt, which do not allow - if there is a real opportunity - to ask for support from other people, even from relatives and friends. The idea is introduced into the mind that it is shameful to be the victim and / or that the victim is to blame for what happened.
And here it is important to understand on whose mill the thoughtful reasoning in the spirit of "an adult is himself responsible for everything that happens to him" is pouring water; "the world returns to us what we send to it"; "a mature person, by definition, cannot get into a situation of violence," and so on. The truth is that there are no specific "victim personalities" - neither at the level of adults, nor at the level of children.
The victim can be anyone - a mature personality / gullible simpleton / disabled of the 3rd group / master of sports in swimming / top manager / seamstress-minder of the highest category / retired / schoolgirl / smart / stupid / village / city / perfectly socialized / social phobia / beautiful / ugly and so on, as long as fantasy is enough.
The victim is not made as such by his personality traits, but by the presence of the rapist.
In turn, the rapist is made such not by "teenage frustrations" or "childhood traumas", but by permissiveness. Nothing is more conducive to the spread of violence - in all forms - like the lack of immediate and sensitive punishment. And vice versa: where the actions of the rapist / aggressor are immediately stopped, the "flowers of evil" wither before they can bloom.
Thus, the rapist humiliates, insults, tramples morally, physically hits his victim because he has such an opportunity. As soon as the opportunity disappears, a miracle happens: he suddenly finds an opportunity to "solve his problems" using civilized and civilized methods, or, even more often, it turns out that there are no problems.
Who should stop and punish the rapist? And who should stop and punish a pickpocket, counterfeiter or drug dealer?
The state represented by the relevant institutions. The concept of a social contract has been known since the 17th century, and nothing new has been invented since then: we give the state part of our rights (including the right to administer justice) and part of the money (taxes), in exchange for protection and a guarantee of security. Yes, not every state honestly fulfills its part of the treaty, but this should not have the slightest relation to the victim's self-esteem.
Our personality is inviolable, regardless of whether we live in Iceland or Somalia, and if our rights are violated, we should not be ashamed.
As for the guilt, if a woman in, horror, a short skirt was attacked on the street, the blame for what happened lies
a) on the offender; b) on a state that is unable to ensure the safety of the streets, and the length of the skirt has nothing to do with it.
If a child was beaten by classmates, it is to blame
a) organizers and performers of the beating; b) the school administration, and above all the class teacher, and the child's personal characteristics have nothing to do with it.
Anyone who invites the victim to "think what she did wrong" - or a hit from ancient times, when human rights were never heard of; or a manipulator playing on the side of the aggressor; or a fool.
In any case, I sincerely wish him to somehow get a face in the face unexpectedly and for no reason, but not for the purpose of re-education (I have not believed in fairy tales for a long time), and so - for the sake of restoring harmony:).
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