The Wife Wrote: "I Do Not Love You"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

One day I received a letter from my wife. No, I have not been to another geographic point, sometimes we write to each other when it is not at all easy to speak.

This letter contained the following words:

"I do not love you. You are good and all that, it’s not about you, I just realized that I don’t love, and I can’t do anything about it, and most importantly, I don’t want to. And I think about parting, because it's not fair to continue living together."

It was, to put it mildly, unexpected.

At that time, we were together for 20 years, married, churched, parents of three children, lived together, without loud quarrels and scandals, there was nothing that would allow us to say - well, what should have happened happened.

Obviously, I'm not perfect, but I loved my wife, giving her no reason for jealousy or discontent.

On the contrary, at that time her career was taking off, I took care of the house and the children, and so that she was in good physical shape, learned to be a massage therapist, cooked her delicious and healthy food.

And as a man I am not a freak and "in full bloom."

In general, this statement was very unexpected and painful.

Due to financial constraints, we could not leave and agreed to live for the time being, in different rooms, like neighbors.

What happened to my wife there was, of course, very interesting, but the main question was still something else: what should I do ?!

Collect the bag and leave:

they say, okay, okay, you don’t love so, you don’t love, you can’t be a wife - don’t be your choice?

Or demand to be a wife "over the knee" and priests, shaking the birth certificates of children and weddings?

Or kick her out, let her not love me elsewhere?

In general, what is "marriage", "wife", "love" and "being together"?

And when does “wife” stop being “wife”?

Now, if my wife was hit by a car and she turned into a "vegetable", is she my wife or not? Should I then look for another one that is not a "vegetable" and fulfills its functions?

Where is the line? Where is the list of functions, what the wife should and what should not?

And to what extent, in what quality?

And who defines this set of options?

The answer turned out to be simple:

while my wife is alive and has not chosen another man, she is my wife, and my task is to love her and take care of her, adjusted for a specific situation.

In any case, as long as there is strength.

And if my wife today does not want to see me, then my love for her will consist in not getting caught in her eyes.

It's like with a hand: there are more beautiful, stronger, more skillful hands, but the best and most suitable hand for me is mine.

So it is here.

The best wife for me is mine.

Here all the keywords are key.

This wife and this situation was given to me by God, and He loves me, and that means that it should be so.

Six months later, the crisis ended, and my wife fell in love with me as she had never loved, and today our relationship is what it never was and could never have become without this “dislike”.

For half a year I loved my wife like a neighbor. It wasn't easy.

Perhaps, I have never prayed like that or reached out to God.

During this time, I understood a lot and also wrote a letter to my wife.

In it I said that you can promise something to each other, agree on something, do a lot for each other, have a common bed, live under one roof - and not be together.

All this can be a manifestation of "we", but it is not its essence.

And on the contrary, you can be far away, you can be silent, you can not promise anything to each other, and you can not agree on anything, and you can be together.

You can even die - but even in this case, "we" will remain.

Such a real “we” is something from above, possibly performed in Heaven, but at the same time it is necessarily, consciously and freely accepted by everyone here on Earth.

This is the decision that yes, now there is not only "I", that from now on there is "we".

Only the present and mature “I”, which no longer needs another, can truly choose to become such “we”.

Such a “I” has learned to be alone, such a “I” is self-sufficient, has found the source of life in that very Heaven, in God.

This is a new relationship. It is a butterfly in the palms. And one palm is yours, the other is mine. In such a relationship, I move just as much as you are ready, and you - as much as you want it. And as far as I can let you.

In such a relationship, there is no hard “you owe me”, this is a hot and gentle handshake without demands and expectations, so hot and strong so that, without burning, give each other warmth, and so attentive and gentle so that the butterfly remains alive.

I no longer have conditions.

I love you.