Freedom Before Correctness?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I once again "continued" to learn English

I watch a polyglot with A. Petrov on YouTube. And there adults, like me, have been learning the language for decades, but they won't speak it fluently.

And so they ask the presenter something like how to relieve tension during communication, how not to get confused in a bunch of grammatical constructions that are in the English language.

To which the presenter brilliantly replied.

- Remember, freedom before correctness.

But yes!

Striving to be correct, we castrate freedom.

Clients often come to me who regret something not done, unsaid, overlooked because of the fear of making a mistake. Then that it is immediately perceived as if something is wrong with them. At first it was perceived by someone, and over time, the person himself believed in it and began to attack himself if something did not work out.

“If I screw up, then something is wrong with me. Everyone has been able to do it for a long time, but I like "hello".

In order not to feel “not the same”, “how hello,” a person chooses to limit his will, spontaneity, activity. Avoid situations where mistakes are possible: i.e. avoid everything new. Kill the libido energy: the energy of aspirations and desires. Shackle yourself with depressive states in order not to do the mental work associated with feeling funny, stupid, mistaken. Chooses to be right, not free.

Occasionally, he still fantasizes that a state of complete readiness can be reached. When everything will work out the first time. He works hard on readiness and often finds that he is not ready enough yet.

(As with English, which you learn all your life, but you cannot speak).

Because readiness is not a state that magically suddenly descends on us, but a product of the processing of anxiety and fear into the energy of excitement.

It is a choice to pay with the experience of anxiety, shame, fear for trying to be free in its manifestations. Moreover, to pay even for an unwarranted result.

A leap of faith, so to speak.

We were told that if it’s scary, it’s better not to climb, not to run up. As if fear, anxiety are something that should not be, and if they are, they indicate a flaw, unpreparedness, premature action.

In my opinion, this is not a flaw, but completely natural, regular experiences that accompany the process of arousal.

What is interesting and desirable to us is frightening at the same time.

I want to be a parent - it's scary not to cope with this role.

I want a happy relationship, but I'm afraid of betrayal.

I want to declare myself as a beginner specialist, but I'm afraid to run into criticism.

To speak English well, you must first allow yourself to speak it poorly. To be incomprehensible to others, to experience oneself as weak, inept, erroneous.

A living person, not a frozen, regular mummy.