Self-esteem Is Not Forever

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Video: Self-esteem Is Not Forever

Video: Self-esteem Is Not Forever
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Self-esteem Is Not Forever
Self-esteem Is Not Forever
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Self-esteem this is a concept that at first glance seems to be nowhere simpler, in order to use it in all the ridiculous articles that I saw. Well, say, self-esteem, what is incomprehensible here is the assessment of oneself, there is nothing to discuss here. But no, there is a definition that is deeper than just "evaluating oneself." As always, I'll just take the definition and tell on my fingers what it means from a psychological point of view, not from the point of view of karma, Vedas, magic and Zen Buddhist practices, I'm not aware of them. Since I got pseudopsychological explanations of psychological concepts, I read several sources and will give you excerpts from there and a few of my examples for clarity.

The psychological dictionary defines self-esteem as the value, the significance that the individual endows himself with as a whole and certain aspects of his personality, activity, behavior (AV Karpov "General Psychology").

Why do we need self-esteem?

Self-esteem affects the effectiveness of a person's activity and the further development of his personality (a short psychological dictionary by L. A. Karpenko). What kind of self-esteem is there?

It is very interesting that self-esteem is not only low or high, self-esteem can be average, adequate and situational, right away, in one moment, cool yes!

See for yourself the type of self-esteem depends on:

closeness to realityadequate (characterized by the ability to best correlate one's own strengths with the ability to solve problems of varying complexity and with the needs of others) and inadequate (makes it impossible to harmonize the motivational and emotional-volitional sphere of a person) - it is about how a person evaluates himself and his manifestations

For example, self-esteem will be considered adequate if a person can set goals and achieve a result. Inadequate self-esteem will be characterized by an overestimation of one's own strengths, unfounded claims, ignorance of unsuccessful results.

values (level)a high self-evaluation (a person is more inclined to take risks and believe in himself); average (the person is taken only for those tasks that he will definitely perform), low (focusing on previous failures and constantly comparing oneself to others) Is a reflection of a person's self-awareness.

sustainabilitystable (it also has the name "personal", a person has a stable concept of himself, and is characterized by a general level of satisfaction with himself and his qualities) and floating (current, displays the assessment of the current situation, serves as a hint for changing behavior). - the level of personality formation.

For the development of a personality, a stable and at the same time sufficiently flexible self-assessment (which, if necessary, can change under the influence of new information, gaining experience, assessments of others, etc.) is effective, is optimal for both development and productivity of activity. An excessively stable, rigid self-esteem, as well as strongly fluctuating, unstable, has a negative effect.

breadth of coveragegeneral (covers an integral personality and its value in relation to itself), private (in this case, some side of the individual is considered) or specific-situational (evaluating yourself under certain circumstances).

For example, I believe that I am a psychologically healthy person - this is my general self-esteem, private - this is what I think I cook deliciously, and situational - I am an alarmist in certain circumstances.

In some actions, you may show adequate, high and stable self-esteem, in others inadequate, average and specific-situational.

In addition, the process of establishing self-esteem cannot be finite, since the personality itself is constantly evolving, and therefore, its ideas about oneself and attitude towards oneself change. therefore self-esteem is constantly changing. Self-esteem of a person is unstable, at every moment of time, with different actions, behavior, different circumstances, you may have a different self-esteem.

How is self-esteem formed?

Self-esteem is formed according to Burns, in three important points, first - the coincidence of the real I with the image of a person with the ideal, that is, the idea of what a person would like to be. A high degree of coincidence characterizes a psychologically healthy person. Second - a person is inclined to evaluate himself as, in his opinion, others evaluate him. The third - the real achievements of the individual, the more significant the success of the individual in this or that type of activity, the higher his self-esteem will be.

American psychologist Gordon Allport says that at the age of 5-6 the image of `` I '' begins to form. This is the time when the child begins to learn what parents, relatives, teachers and other people expect from him, what they want him to be. I-ideal and I-real begin to form.

According to Burns, the self-image arises in the process of socialization, and after that it plays an independent role. This means that the basic concept of oneself arises in the process of experience of relationships with loved ones. I-real for the child will be what words, characteristics endows him with others, and how he feels, and defines himself. I - the ideal will be how the loved ones want him to be, how ideal he should be in the opinion of mom, dad, grandmother, and so on. The basic need of a child is to be accepted and loved, so he will strive for an ideal representation of his family about himself, which will later move into the unconscious area of the psyche.

An experiment by Jacobs and Eccles (1992) showed how parental perspectives influenced children's perceptions of their own abilities. As it should be proved, the opinions of the parents had a strong influence on the children., in those children where the mothers believed that their child was not inclined to math, the children also counted and received poor grades, in those families where the mother believed that her child had a propensity for mathematics, the children received good grades. This case is an interesting variant of self-fulfilling predictions.

We are our experience of interacting with others, we cannot change this, our loved ones loved us as best they could, you can blame them for everything, or you can finally become adults and take responsibility for your life, and change it if you live like this painful and unbearable.

Self-esteem is not for life

In our society, they speculate on the concept of self-esteem, especially low self-esteem, as a diagnosis, almost fatal, if you are not sure of something, if you have doubts, even if they are justified, if you find it difficult to decide, or you cannot find decision in some situation, then they look at you sympathetically and say - you have low self-esteem!

There are especially many articles on topics such as: "increasing women's self-esteem", "women's self-esteem, how does it differ from men's", "how to properly increase women's self-esteem", "what affects women's self-esteem." It seems that women's self-esteem is somewhat different from men's.

There is not a single valid study that confirms that there is a difference between the formation of male and female self-esteem. So dear ladies, women's self-esteem is a myth, and women's self-esteem is formed and developed in the same way as men. And therefore all these tales, supposedly by female pseudo-psychologists, that a woman is something special, to such a degree that the general laws of psychology do not affect her, are either charlatanism or stupidity.

Many still live in the Middle Ages, where female joy is the reverence and inspiration of a man, and achievements and successes in society and in business, we will leave all this for men, they cannot live without it, we are noble, we cannot be the last joy take away from men. A huge amount of "female psychology" suggests that irresponsibility is not only present, but also cultivated in the heads of women. And it would seem the 21st century, the age of free information, but alas, going to trainings to improve women's self-esteem is much easier.

How, after all, I will tell you how to normalize self-esteem in another article, so as not to make this too big. I just found some great experiments that prove that self-hypnosis does not work. So, it will be hot, to all lovers of affirmations.))

And now I will summarize! Self-esteem - this is a subjective, changing throughout life, some evaluative idea of oneself, of one's activities and behavior. Self-esteem is formed according to the same laws, both for men and women. It reflects our experience from birth, we cannot change the experience, but we can take responsibility for our life, and with the help of a specialist or ourselves, change our life (better with a specialist, of course).

Psychologist, Miroslava Miroshnik, miroslavamiroshnik.com

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