Less Perfectionism, More Action

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

You make plans, but every day some of the tasks remain not covered. Gradually, cases accumulate, which are not completed for months (years).

Postponed publication, missed workout, letter cut off in the middle, painting called "white rectangle" …

What prompts you to postpone things, and even important and interesting tasks? Is it still possible to move on to action in such situations?

First, let's exclude the obvious options that come to mind:

- "It's my laziness"

- "I can not cope with the habit of procrastinating …"

When we decide that the point is laziness or procrastination, then we begin to fight with ourselves: we force ourselves to do something, force ourselves out of sticking on social networks, drag ourselves to another painful training session, etc. But such an effort quickly tires, and what one wanted to do remains unfulfilled.

The opposite is often the case. Not that we are not finishing something. And the fact that "overdone". Experience shows that we can overdo it in presenting unreasonably high demands on ourselves, on the goals and results that we are obliged to obtain in activity. In other words, perfectionism becomes something that slows down and prevents you from taking action.

Let's figure out what obstacles perfectionism creates, and how to start acting in such situations.

1. The immensity of the task.

Voice of perfectionism: "Well, is it really a daunting task to train for half an hour every day ?!"

For a person who lives by training - no. And for someone who has been postponing this for five years, of course - yes. Let's see what happens if we reduce the target to a size where it stops scaring.

Olga, in order to do a daily warm-up, I have to say to myself: "Today I will only wave my arms a couple of times. I will just go out into the street and reach the stadium …" and the matter starts to happen by itself. When she sets a goal - to train for 30 minutes every day, something constantly happens and the training is either postponed or takes less time, leaving a bloom of dissatisfaction.

More examples:

- "I'll sit down at the picture and sit for five minutes in silence and contemplation."

- "I'll make a few stitches on the unfinished skirt."

- "I will not clean the apartment today, I will just wash one zone in the kitchen and sort things out there."

- "I'll just correct the spelling in the excerpt of the article"….

One small movement, one tidying area, a couple of words written in notes. This can change the course of further history, if not world history, then yours for sure.

So, so that perfectionism does not block on the very first approaches to the realization of the goal, pay attention to the goal: can it be shortened. Is it possible to break down into small tasks that not only do not scare, but, on the contrary, cause fun, at least because of how small they are.

2. It is a shame to be a "threesome".

From school, everyone remembers that there are bad grades, and there are good ones, when the task is done without mistakes and blots.

Many factors interfere in life and often the problem can be solved only "by the top three", even if every effort is made. The task may turn out to be quite voluminous or there is not enough experience in this area. We often miss the opportunity to act because we want to get a good result right away.

Practical example:

Inna, an English teacher, says that she cannot leave school and work privately, because it is scary to advertise her activities. Before checking how the advertising would work, she asked a lot of questions: “What if the students won't come? What if I can't find a suitable teaching method for them? And if the desired prices are too expensive and you need to sell yourself for a pittance?…. The transition to private activity was postponed and postponed under the onslaught of doubts.

Behind these questions were internal big questions: if I make a mistake and do something wrong, then what will happen? Can I handle this situation? Is it possible to cope with less than perfect - will it be considered?

As soon as Inna was able to afford to be a confident "trinity" and to find acceptable but imperfect options for promoting her services, her affairs immediately went smoothly and the prospect of leaving school ceased to be so frightening.

3. "There is still so much ahead …"

The habit of comparing what has been achieved with the desired goal often generates a feeling of dissatisfaction and anxiety that it will not be possible to reach the goal. Or you can shift your attention to what has already been done. And it will definitely turn out to be much more than nothing. The actions you ever take will be more supportive than dozens of motivational videos guiding you forward towards achievement.

This article does not cover all the pitfalls of perfectionism and how to deal with them. This was not the goal.

If, after reading the article, you will have a feeling of lightness and thoughts like these: "Yes, it's so easy to do something, practically nothing is required from me …" - then the goal has been achieved. And then unexpected discoveries and achievements can happen in your life. If only simply because the forces that were usually wasted on fighting with oneself will be saved.

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