2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In order to understand a problem, it is not enough to admit that it exists; we also need to evaluate all the possible options that are available to us. In terms of change, we have options.
I suggest using a graphical tool - the wheel of changes (shown in the picture) by Marshal Goldsmitt. It shows the connection between two dimensions: the positive-negative axis tracks the elements that help or restrain us. The change-save axis is the elements that we decide to keep or change in the future. Thus, in pursuit of any change, we have four options:
- Creation - the positive elements that we want to create;
- Conservation - the positive elements that we want to retain;
- Elimination - negative elements that we want to get rid of;
- Acceptance - the negative elements that we need to accept.
These are alternatives. Some are more fun, prettier and more dynamic than others, but all are equally important! And three more of them require more work than we would like.
1. Creation
Creation is a beautiful embodiment of change. When we imagine our improved behavior, it seems to us to be delighted with the process of self-invention. We are creating a "new version of ourselves." It is very attractive and captivating. We can become whoever we want.
The challenge is to do it of your own choosing, not as an outside observer. Are we really creating ourselves, or are we wasting the chance and instead allow external forces to create ourselves.
If we are happy with our life, then we often tend to be inertial. We continue to do what we have always done. If we are not happy, then we can rush to the other extreme and agree to all possible ideas, never bringing them to the end so that it takes root and creates new us.
We always have the opportunity to create a new version of ourselves. All we need is an impulse to represent the other ourselves.
2. Conservation
Saving sounds passive and mundane, but it's a real choice. And it requires introspection in order to identify what is acceptable to us and discipline so as not to abandon everything for something new, brilliant and not necessarily better.
As one politician put it, “The most ungrateful decisions I make are those that don't allow bad things to happen. After all, I can never prove that I prevented something even worse. So it is with preservation. We rarely get approval for not spoiling something good. This tactic is only successful in hindsight - and only for those who have kept something worthwhile.
That is why we very rarely ask ourselves: "What should be preserved in my life?" The answer can save us a lot of time and effort. After all, maintaining valuable behavior means reducing the characteristics that need to be changed.
3. Elimination
Elimination is the most healing action, and yet we do it very reluctantly. As with cleaning a balcony or an attic, we do not know whether this "part of us" will be useful to us in the future or not. Maybe this is the secret of our success. Or maybe we just like it.
We all know how to eliminate things that we don't like, especially if the benefits are clear and immediate.
But the real challenge is the elimination of something that we like to do, something that supposedly does not harm us, and in our opinion even helps. In such cases, we ask ourselves: "What should I eliminate?" And there is nothing to come up with.
4. Acceptance
Adoption is a rare animal in the nursery of change. People who are reluctant to admit any defeat usually equate "acceptance" and "tacit consent."
Acceptance is most valuable when we do not have the strength to change the situation. But our inefficiency as a race is the state we don't want to accept. It triggers the very best of our counterproductive behavior.
If we think about it, we see that episodes of our rejection stimulate more bad behavior than the negative consequences of creating, maintaining, and eliminating combined.
When we set ourselves the task of finding out what we can change and what not, what to lose and what to save, we often surprise ourselves with the simplicity of our own answers. This is the beauty of this wheel.
The article appeared thanks to the work of Marshal Goldsmitt.
Dmitry Dudalov
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