2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The lost fire of anger is a direct path to illness
As a psychologist, I can say that anger occurs in a person only in two cases:
- if his true needs are not met;
- when they violate its boundaries: emotional, physical, territorial, financial.
In the article "When I am not there, that is, pseudo-SPIRITUALITY," she touched upon the topic of anger, and at night I thought about this - after all, many practitioners on the spiritual path of development do not even rise up anger from unmet needs. A lot of effort has been put into driving out or extinguishing this inner fire, which is so condemned. Feelings are rejected, considered a product of the mind or ego. Humility is practiced as a recipe for all problems. A person does not live his own life, but complies with the prescriptions.
Pseudo-spirituality breaks the mechanism of access to oneself even more than parents in childhood
I remembered my experience.
In the Vedic school, I was a very uncomfortable student. She asked a lot of questions that were taboo. For example, what is the divorce rate in devotee families? The answer was evasive, but a fellow in spiritual development sitting next to him whispered that more than ordinary people. I thought about it. Why? After all, everything was explained so well that if a wife devotedly serves her husband, worships him, then the husband will be realized, and the wife will be happy.
As they say, the question has been asked - wait for an answer. It didn't take long. Reality knocked on the door and cheekily cracked open my family idyll.
The prescriptions didn't work anymore. The unsatisfied needs of the body came to the surface, but then I could not recognize them, I moved too far away from my own I, replacing other people's correct ideas: vegetarianism, earlier awakening, sex only for the conception of children …. Of course, as a result of this, I got DEPRESSION. A terrible amoebic state, when you can't speak, it's hard to move, eat, you don't know what you want …
I remember in such a state of depression, confusion, with a terrible headache and vomiting, I came to the first group of Gestalt therapy. There remained a ghostly hope of receiving healing from mental and physical suffering. I could not sit. She lay covered with a stole from India. From time to time I got up. The vomiting did not recede. The group leader invited me to sit down and describe my condition. Looking at me, she suggested banal actions - to show with her hands how my head hurts. It was as if I was pressing my hands into my head, wanting to catch a migratory headache. She advised me to look at my hands and think, what is it like in my life? Horror and anger gripped me instantly - "This is the husband" - "He is pressing me so hard." The head of the gestalt group suggested being with it. A hurricane of indignation, horror, fear, but more anger rose in my soul.
Lord, I have so skillfully learned to explain everything to myself with karma! The practice of humility led me to total devastation. I realized that I had replaced humility with complete suppression of myself. On the surface, there was an ideal relationship, an example for others, one might say, a sermon and the sweet pleasure of mentoring. But in this relationship there was also a second side, which I did not dare to think about. This is spiritual and moral violence, the substitution of values. For example, it was formed in the mind that sex is a base pleasure, and the need of the body is suppressed and condemned. Emotions are rejected, only joy is welcome. Vegetarianism is imposed as a necessity.
I stopped feeling how you can and cannot be with me.
Anger is an obscene feeling for the spiritually developing, therefore it is actively pushed out of the psyche. If you ask a spiritually duped person, he will honestly say - "I do not feel angry" and he is not lying. Who would have thought that when anger is repressed, it forms an environment of trauma (retroflection in gestalt therapy). It is easier to say that in a person's life there is a series of bruises, cuts, possibly fractures, illnesses, or, in any case, suicide.
Yes, this is such an insidious thing - the energy of feelings, it does not dissolve anywhere and is so interesting that it pushes us towards personal and maybe spiritual development.
In order to return to your own I (please do not confuse it with egoism), you need to learn to recognize needs, develop the ability to realize desires, taking into account the formed personal values.
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